


50 Shades of Bureaucracy: Beginnings

by vol_ctrl



Series: 50 Shades of Bureaucracy [1]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Beelzebub Has a Penis (Good Omens), Beelzebub Has a Vulva (Good Omens), Birthday Party, Blow Jobs, Bondage, Choking, Dominance, Drunken Confessions, Erotica, First Time, First Time Bottoming, Food Kink, Gabriel Has a Penis (Good Omens), Humor, Inappropriate Sound of Music References, Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens), Ineffable Husbands (Good Omens), Japanese Rope Bondage, Light Bondage, Love Confessions, Love/Hate, M/M, Magician Aziraphale (Good Omens), Multi, One Night Stands, Other, Possibly Unrequited Love, Praise Kink, Priest Kink, Rope Bondage, Service Submission, Slow Burn, Smut, Spanking, Submission, Switching, Temptation, The Sound of Music References, They/Them Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens), Unrequited Love, yes both
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-30
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-09-30 18:50:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 36,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20451902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vol_ctrl/pseuds/vol_ctrl
Summary: After a drunken one night stand with Beelzebub, Gabriel is convinced he is in love with the Prince of Hell. Now, he's determined to figure out Beelzebub's love language and prove his love is real. (Hint: Beelzebub's love language is kink.)





	1. An Archangel and a Prince of Hell Walk Into a Birthday Party

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文-普通话 國語 available: [【好兆頭/上司組】上司們的五十道陰影 : 起初](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21432106) by [LysineNotGlutamate](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LysineNotGlutamate/pseuds/LysineNotGlutamate)

> Here we go, ya'll. I've been toying with some ideas for Ineffable Bureaucracy for a while, and then it suddenly hit me. Buckle up, kittens, it's gonna be a smutty, kinky ride.

“What is the meaning of this, young man?” Gabriel demanded, shoulders drawn up tense and chest puffed out. A strange crowd was gathered in a neat little English garden in lower Tadfield. A couple angels, a couple demons, at least one witch, and several human tweens.

“It’s my birthday,” Adam Young said plainly, as if that should be obvious.

“Zzo what?” Beelzebub snapped. “Why should we care?”

“I didn’t know how to send you an invitation, so I figured I’d just have you come over.”

“How in Heaven’s name did you bring us here?” Gabriel asked.

Crowley and Aziraphale looked just as surprised, but less cross than the archangel and prince of Hell who had suddenly appeared in lower Tadfield. “So much for _ Die Fliedermaus _,” Crowley muttered to Aziraphale. “Sorry, angel, I know you were looking forward to it.”

“Oh, it’s quite alright, dear.” Aziraphale smiled sunnily at Crowley, “You’re the one who prefers the funny operas.” He turned to smile warmly at Adam. “I do love birthday parties.”

“I dunno,” Adam replied to the archangel standing stiffly beside the prince of Hell. He gave a loose, floppy shrug.

“How can a human child just summon uzz? I was in the middle of some very important bizzzness.” Beelzebub looked ruffled and uncomfortable in the blissful, sunny day. The lawn was perfectly trimmed and verdant, scattered with a few games and the detritus of the Them’s usual make believe, and the trees were hung with pennant flags that proclaimed ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ADAM!’.

“Should we be concerned by how many adults were invited to a twelve year old’s birthday?” Mr. Young muttered to his wife as he chewed on the stem of his pipe.

“I think it’s fine, dear,” Mrs. Young said with a tentative smile. “Although, I’m not sure why that couple seem a bit cross with him… Oh! The casserole! I nearly forgot.” Mrs. Young bustled back into the house.

Mr. Young couldn’t think of how to approach the strange mix of adults mingling on one side of the garden. They were all dressed very modern. Looked like posh Londoners. Instead he decided to go over to the young man who had been staying at Jasmine cottage for the past year with that strangely assertive American woman. He had the familiar, comfortably nervous energy of a proper Englishman. Much safer territory. Perhaps he would compare notes with him about lawncare or auto repair.

“We didn’t bring presents,” Aziraphale mourned to Crowley. “Oh, I wish we’d had more time to prepare. We should have left our address with Adam…”

“We hardly know the kid,” Crowley defended.

“But we saved the world together!” Aziraphale insisted. “Perhaps… perhaps I should do something for the party. Some entertainment. Like a…” He swelled with excitement.

“Not a magic show. Please don’t do a magic show. Aziraphale, you know how poorly that went last time, please--”

But it was too late. Aziraphale had already spun around and changed into his ridiculous vintage magic costume with a flourish, replete with that awful drawn-on moustache. “Voila!”

Crowley put his face in his palm with a low groan. “Do _ not _drag me into this.”

“I’ll need an assistant!” Aziraphale said with bravado.

“No. No, I’m not going to indulge this stupidity.”

“The magnificent, magical Mr. Fell, and his beautiful assistant Anthony are going to put on a show!” he proclaimed grandly to his beloved. Crowley found that his comfortable suit had been transformed into a black dress that had gone out of fashion so long ago that it was once again fashionable.

“Oh, come on!” Crowley protested.

“Help me set up!” Aziraphale buzzed with excitement.

Meanwhile, a prince of Hell buzzed with malicious intent. “I will not be a part of thizz silly human tradition.”

“I invited your friends,” Adam said with a nod toward Gabriel.

Gabriel and Beelzebub exchanged dubious looks. “They,” Gabriel looked pointedly at Beelzebub, “are not my friend.”

Beelzebub sneered at Gabriel.

“No, they are. I can tell. You two are friends,” Adam said with calm confidence. 

“Young man,” Gabriel said politely, “you are delusional. That, right there, is a,” he glanced around furtively and lowered his voice, “_ Prince of Hell. _”

“Why does that matter?” Adam raised an eyebrow at Gabriel. “They’re an angel and a demon, and they’re like, _ really _good friends.” He gestured toward Aziraphale and Crowley who were in the process of putting together a small stage that had miraculously appeared, albeit in pieces. Crowley was cursing quietly under his breath, drowned out by Aziraphale’s pleasant humming.

Gabriel and Beelzebub’s expressions were twisted in identical disdain with a hint of caution. To say they were still unnerved by the fiasco of the trials after the Armageddon-that-Wasn't would be an understatement.

“They’re freakzzz,” Beelzebub hissed.

Gabriel nodded and shifted uncomfortably. “We can agree on that, at least.” He offered Beelzebub an awkward smile, which the Prince returned as more of a grimace.

“I met you all around my birthday last year, so I thought it’d be fun to all get together again. There’s going to be cake and soda and games and… whatever it is Mr. Fell is doing.” Adam’s gaze lingered on the cheery wannabe magician, and curiosity drew him to wander off in that direction and find out what it was that he was doing.

Gabriel frowned. “I wasn’t expecting to be summoned to a failed Armageddon reunion.”

“This suckzzz,” Beelzebub growled.

“Seems rude to leave a twelve-year-old’s birthday party, though.” Gabriel winced.

“You’re staying?” Beelzebub snorted. “I’m outta here.” The demon focused on the downward pull of Hell in the soles of their feet, expecting the Earth to rumble and split open at their command. But nothing happened. Beelzebub’s face pinched and they focused harder. It felt as if the connection was cut off. Just… nothing there. Their eyes widened and they stomped a heel into the well-kept lawn. Nothing.

“Changed your mind?” Gabriel asked innocently.

Beelzebub’s face turned an angry red color and they glared up at the angel. “It’s not. Working. That little shit is keeping uzzz here! Uzzz! How the fuck--”

“Language!” Gabriel hissed, looking around. “There are children present. And me. I can’t stand that sort of language.” He crossed his arms over his broad chest and averted his gaze, chin raised. “I break out in hives.”

“You are pathetic,” Beelzebub muttered, hands balled into fists. They dug their heel into the lawn a few more times, then huffed and crossed their arms over their chest. Two ancient entities sulked at a twelve-year-old’s birthday party.

“Mr. Fell’s going to put on a magic show!” Adam proclaimed to the party.

Mr. Young looked up. “Ah. So that’s why they’re all here.” He stroked his moustache thoughtfully. “Did Diedre hire them? Must have done.”

Anathema glanced up from her conversation with Pepper and raised a curious brow. “A magic show? This should be good…”

“Is it going to be real magic?” Wensleydale asked and straightened his glasses.

Brian shivered. “Remember how Adam split that guy from that other lady? Gives me the willies just thinking about it.”

“But wasn’t that Adam doing magic, and not that guy?”

“How do you think that guy got inside that lady?” Brian looked warily at the angel.

Aziraphale finished setting up his table, and made some last minute adjustments under the cloth to set all his mechanisms up. “Right. Now you announce me, Crowley,” he whispered.

“_ No. _” Crowley glared at Aziraphale from behind his glasses.

“Please, my love?” the angel begged.

Crowley was still and silent for a long moment. Aziraphale was giving him those sweet, sappy eyes and that big, hopeful smile and Crowley knew he was done for. “The things I do for you, angel,” he grumbled. 

Aziraphale beamed brighter than the sun.

Crowley stomped onto the small stage in black heels, inelegant motions that disagreed with his pretty outfit. “All the way from London,” he said in a begrudging tone, “I present--”

“Magical, marvelous, magnanimous,” Aziraphale whispered to him quickly.

Crowley gave him a defeated look of ‘come on,’ and his body sagged. Aziraphale just nodded eagerly. “The…” It looked as if it pained Crowley to speak. “Magical… marvelous… magnanimous,” each word drained more life from him, “Mr. Fell!” He swept his arm wide and shuffled from center stage.

The Them clapped with mixed levels of enthusiasm as Aziraphale took the stage. Mr. Young, Newt, and Anathema joined in. Gabriel felt compelled to clap out of sheer politeness, and even Beelzebub could not resist a few lackluster claps.

After the first “trick,” Beelzebub groaned. “I need a drink.” They snapped and with a flick of their wrist produced a shockingly pink drink in a fancy martini glass.

Gabriel watched out of the corner of his eye. “Is that… alcohol?” He pointed at the drink with a confused look.

“Yezz.” Beelzebub narrowed their eyes at the archangel.

“You can’t drink alcohol at a children’s party! There’s… children!” Gabriel hissed.

“I suppose you’re going to stop me?” Beelzebub challenged.

“I- I should.” Gabriel puffed up.

“I dare you.”

Gabriel glanced around the party. Everyone was transfixed by the show going on. No one seemed to have noticed the small, angry demon drinking a cocktail.

Beelzebub pinned Gabriel under their gaze as they took a long drink. With a nasty smirk, they asked, “Want one? It’ll make this shit a whole lot more bearable.”

“I can’t.” Gabriel looked physically hurt by the expletives said in his presence.

“Sure you can.” Beelzebub thrust the drink toward Gabriel. “Try it.” They grinned. Couldn’t resist a temptation when such a good one was presented.

“I do not sully the temple of my body with such sin.” Gabriel turned his nose up and held up his hands.

“What’s the fuzzz? You lot drink in church.”

“That’s the sacrament--the blood of Christ. Completely different.”

“You’re all a bunch of hypocritezz. Juzzt drink the damn thing. We’re both stuck here.”

Gabriel gave the pink drink a nervous look, like it might explode.

“Drink,” Beelzebub demanded and thrust the glass closer to Gabriel.

“Alright, fine. Fine.” Gabriel didn’t like all this pressure, and Beelzebub was right. They were stuck here. Somehow. He took the glass carefully from the demon, his brow heavy and clouded with unease. Slowly, he brought the glass to his lips and took the tiniest of sips. His eyes widened. “Oh.” He took a slightly larger sip. “Oh, that’s quite good, actually.”

“Told you zzzo.” Beelzebub repaired their empty hand with another cosmo.

“This is alcohol?” Gabriel asked.

“It’zz a cozzzmo.”

“What sort of alcohol is a cosmo?” Gabriel asked, taking another sip.

“It’zz got vodka in it.”

“Ahh. A Russian invention, then.”

“No. The Americanzz came up with it.”

“I do like America.” Gabriel smiled.

“Some of our bezzt work, America.”

“Your best work? I’m sorry, but America was founded by puritans.”

“... Bathed in the blood of indigineouzz peoplezz,” Beelzebub corrected him.

Gabriel’s jaw tightened. “Well, there is that… But the faith is strong there.”

“As is the sin.” Beelzebub raised his glass to Gabriel. The angel smiled dubiously. After a moment’s hesitation, he conceded to raise his glass in kind.

“I suppose you could say, it’s some of _ our _best work,” he offered, waving a hand between the two of them. That made Beelzebub frown and shift uncomfortably. Gabriel took a big gulp from his glass and eyed the travesty of a magic show.

“It’s not real magic,” Wensleydale said decisively. “I learned how to do magic like this from a book once, but then Mum and Dad said I shouldn’t waste my time on silly kid stuff.”

“But you are a kid,” Pepper muttered. “Is this the sort of magic you do, Miss Anathema?”

“Not in the slightest.” Anathema was quite enjoying the absurdity of a literal angel doing parlor tricks--and poorly.

Crowley cringed the hardest he had ever cringed. But, nevertheless, he was going through the motions. He would literally do anything for Aziraphale, even utterly humiliate himself.

“Aren’t you ashamed by proxy?” Beelzebub sneered, an arm crossed over their chest to support the cosmo dangling between slim fingers, hip cocked to one side.

“It’s not on me anymore. He burned that bridge with us.” Gabriel shook his head slowly. For some reason, it was beginning to amuse him. He actually laughed at Aziraphale next, “voila!”

Beelzebub looked sidelong at the tall angel beside them. Gabriel was a lightweight. No surprise there. They decided then and there that they had a mission: get this stuffy archangel good and drunk. It was a lot more entertaining than anything else going on.

They swigged down the rest of their cocktail and then looked expectantly at Gabriel. “Are you done yet? It’zz rude not to keep up.”

Gabriel turned and blinked at Beelzebub. “Oh. Oh, right,” he said and drained his glass. Beelzebub refilled both their glasses with a little smile. “I don’t need another one,” Gabriel said with surprise.

“I insist,” Beelzebub buzzed pleasantly.

“You’re quite generous for a demon, you know,” Gabriel chirped.

“What’zz a few drinks between old enemies?”

Gabriel chuckled. “We can agree on a few things. Like, for instance, those two,” he gestured broadly to Crowley and Aziraphale, “are idiots.”

“You’ve got that right.”

The afternoon stretched on, but, fortunately for everyone in attendance, the magic show finally came to a close.

“I think that went _ so _ much better than last time. See, Crowley? I _ am _good at magic.”

“You’re just lucky that Adam is a good sport,” Crowley muttered. “You are--” He turned to look at Aziraphale and the angel was so pleased with himself that Crowley couldn’t find it in himself to put him down now. “--terrib_ ly _good at magic.” He forced a smile.

“Thank you, dear.”

“Are… Beelzebub and Gabriel still here?” Crowley suddenly noticed that the two were still standing where they had been. He straightened his glasses. “That can’t be good.”

Aziraphale glanced over, eyes wide. “They… seem to be having a… lovely time.” He frowned thoughtfully.

“Are they drinking cosmos?” Crowley actually lifted his sunglasses and squinted at them.

“And… laughing? Oh dear.” Aziraphale pursed his lips.

“Haaappy birthday to you!” Mrs. Young came out into the garden, birthday cake in hand, and started the chorus. The rest of the party chimed in, including Aziraphale and Crowley, drawn back into the orbit of the festivities. The Them got cake first, but Aziraphale was swiftly behind them.

“Thank you for that… lovely little magic show,” Mrs. Young said tentatively. “Did… my husband hire you?”

Crowley stepped in. “You hired us, Mrs. Young. Don’t you recall?”

Her eyes glazed over briefly and Aziraphale shot Crowley a frown.

“Oh, yes…” she said dreamily, then blinked and the haze cleared. “Must’ve slipped my mind. How silly of me. Well, thank you, again, for agreeing on such short notice.”

“My pleasure. Not many people appreciate a traditional magic show these days, you know,” Aziraphale beamed. “Would you cut us a couple slices for our friends over there?”

“Of course.”

Aziraphale and Crowley took an extra slice of cake each and made their way over to the odd couple. Gabriel was gesturing wildly as he told some story. Beelzebub listened and snickered into their cosmo.

“Hey, you two,” Crowley said with a forcibly casual tone.

Beelzebub’s smile ceased and they glared at Crowley.

“Oh hey!” Gabriel said sunnily. “That show was…” Gabriel pressed his lips together and shook his head, then burst out laughing, “_ awful. _ You two are _ idiots. _”

Crowley sighed and thrust a piece of cake toward Gabriel. “Shut it.”

“What’s this?” Gabriel asked with a child-like eagerness. “More gross human matter?”

“It’s cake,” Aziraphale provided. He shot a nervous glance at Beelzebub, then offered them a plate. “It’s a human confection. Quite lovely, especially the--”

“Shut up, I hate you,” Gabriel pronounced haughtily.

Beelzebub erupted in laughter.

Crowley’s hackles raised, but his cute little outfit cut his intimidation factor in half.

Aziraphale was unphased, but mildly concerned. He tugged Crowley back by the arm. “Gabriel are you…?”

“Drunk?” Beelzebub offered with a smirk. “Yeah, he izz. He’zz a lot more fun this way.” They gloated over a sip of cosmo.

“Oh my.” Aziraphale frowned.

“Not our problem.” Crowley told his angel. He wanted to be irritated with Beelzebub, but he had to give credit where credit was due. It was pretty great that the Prince of Hell had gotten an archangel drunk at a kid’s party. 

“I don’t… have… enough… hands…” Gabriel muttered as he eyed the fork on the plate and the cosmo in his other hand. “Well, it’s just going in my mouth, right? That’s how you consume this?” The archangel Gabriel brought the cake up to his mouth and chomped down into the icing. Almost as much of it ended up on his lips as in his mouth. “Wow!” Gabriel looked up at Aziraphale, the picture of an utter fool with icing smeared over his mouth. “Wow. Now that is something.”

Crowley choked. Aziraphale snorted.

“How many cosmos has he had?” Crowley struggled out around smothered giggles.

“Juzzt two,” Beelzebub replied with a grin.

While Gabriel was busy devouring more of the cake face-first, Aziraphale turned to Crowley. “Should I tell him how to sober up? It seems wrong, letting him go on like this…”

“Not our problem!” Crowley said happily. “Eat your cake, angel.”

“Oh, your glass is empty,” Gabriel noted of Beelzebub. He downed the rest of his glass. “Have you,” Gabriel burped, “had these?” He waved his empty glass toward Aziraphale. “They are… _ great. _”

Beelzebub refilled their glasses with glee.

“You are… too kind,” Gabriel slurred.

“I can’t watch…” Aziraphale murmured. He frowned at both archangel and demon, then turned a worried look on Crowley. “Really, he’s going to be so cross…”

“Not. Our. Problem.” Crowley threw an arm around Aziraphale’s shoulders and steered him away. “You can have my cake, too, angel. I don’t like sweets.”

Beelzebub balanced their little plate on top of their glass so they could eat with a fork. Within the space of a minute, the cake was gone. Beelzebub loved sweets. So much so that the icing smeared across Gabriel’s mouth looked mighty tempting. They licked their lips. It was only the holiness radiating off the archangel that prevented him from cleaning Gabriel’s lips in a similar way.

“You’ve got a bit on you,” Beelzebub said.

“Do I? Where?”

Beelzebub lifted a hand to gesture on their own face, then changed their mind. They reached up, wiping off the sweet stuff with their thumb. They licked their thumb clean, watching Gabriel all the while. The angel was very pretty, wasn’t he? Even with that dumb look of surprise on his face.

Gabriel blinked at Beelzebub and chewed slowly. He couldn’t recall the last time someone had touched his face. Lips were a lot more sensitive than he remembered. The warm press of Beelzebub’s slender thumb left a tingle in its wake. He swallowed. “Did you get it all?”

The corner of their mouth jerked into a smirk. “You got it everywhere.” Beelzebub cupped Gabriel’s jaw to better leverage their thumb, and wiped more of the sugary frosting from the corner of his mouth. Returning the thumb to their mouth, again the prince of Hell was struck with a temptation. A very, very forbidden temptation.

Beelzebub dismissed the thought with a frown. If they tempted Gabriel too much, they might end up stuck with a fallen archangel. Those were nothing but trouble, they thought with a sidelong glare at Crowley.

But still… Holding Gabriel’s chin in their hand, swiping past the other corner of his mouth, the angel looked less of his insufferable self with booze-softened edges. This time, Gabriel caught Beelzebub’s thumb before it drifted away, lips wrapped around the small digit to steal back the sweetness.

Beelzebub’s eyes widened as they felt Gabriel’s tongue pass over and around the pad of their thumb. They withdrew sharply and instinctively slapped his broad cheek. Beelzebub hadn’t even thought the action through. It just happened.

The plate of cake fell from his hand. Gabriel looked affronted, his eyes wide as he staggered back a step. “Ow. You _ slapped _me. Why would you slap me?”

“I didn’t zzzay you could touch me,” the prince snapped.

“You touched me first…” Gabriel touched his cheek. “Ow. That really hurt.”

Beelzebub bristled and half turned away. They felt apologetic, but had never apologized before, so didn’t know what to do with the alien feeling.

“Hey!” Adam shouted in their direction. “We’re going to play croquet now! You two are on a team.”

“Oh, croquet?” Gabriel forgot about being slapped entirely. He started walking toward the group. “I love croquet.”

Beelzebub wanted nothing more than to set the lawn on fire, but felt a tiny feeling of obligation to play the stupid game to make up for their explosive reaction to that hot, wet tongue against their finger. Something stirred inside them, and they resolutely ignored it.

The sun began to set, but the conversations had reached their stride and none of the guests seemed in a hurry to leave. The Them asked endless questions about the sorts of things Aziraphale and Crowley had seen through the years. Crowley drifted off to talk to Anathema about her garden. Newt commiserated with Aziraphale about the trials and tribulations of technology--Newt because of his cursed relationship with anything electronic, Aziraphale because of his inability to keep up with the times. Gabriel and Beelzebub were still on the periphery.

“Friends? What was he talking about, friends. We’re not friends. Never could be friends. Never ever, not in a million trillion years.” Gabriel, on his fourth cosmo, rambled and slurred. Beelzebub had started lapping him on rounds, as they required far more alcohol to find this party tolerable.

“I don’t do friendzzz,” Beelzebub muttered, well on their own way to drunk.

“Mortal enemies, more like.” Gabriel leaned into a tree. Suddenly, he laughed. “More like- more like- _ immortal _enemies, amirite?”

Beelzebub found themself laughing. “You’re so fucking stupid.”

“Hey! _ Language!” _ Gabriel sang, but couldn’t stop laughing.

“Have you broken out in hivezzz yet?” Beelzebub sneered. “I don’t see any hivezzz.”

Gabriel smiled at the demon. “You know, that’s so cute. That little… buzzy thing you do.”

Beelzebub snarled. “Cute? Nothing about me is cute! I’m the goddamn prince of Hell.”

“God_ damned, _” Gabriel corrected. “But it is cute. You’re cute. Tiny and dainty and cute.”

“Fuck you. Call me cute again, you shithead.”

Gabriel grinned. “Delicate and sweet and _ cute. _”

“I will fucking end you.”

“Do it!” Gabriel swung his arm and sloshed cosmo onto the grass. “I… dare you,” he said in a low voice.

Despite the animosity that came so naturally to the prince of Hell, Beelzebub found that they did not, in fact, want to start a fight. Not the right time or place. It would be messy. Paperwork. All that rot. And maybe they found that drunken smile just a little bit charming, and Gabriel’s playful, combative behavior a little bit interesting.

“We should do this again sometime,” Gabriel said thoughtfully and sipped his drink. “Not the… the… twelve-year-old’s birthday party thing, but the- the us, you know, the head of Heaven and Hell, like, getting together, um… what’s that human phrase? Shootin’ the, um.. Stuff?”

“_ Shit. _ It’s shooting the _ shit. _”

Gabriel made a face. “Well that’s not very nice, is it.”

“Why? Why would we do that? You’re inzzzufferable.”

Gabriel grinned at Beelzebub and let out a little ‘hee.’

The prince of Hell felt their face grow warm. Just the booze. Surely just the booze.

“It’sa good idea,” Gabriel said. “If we worked together--I mean, if we… comp- confla- comb-... if we shared notes, we might avoid another disaster like those two.” He jerked a thumb in Aziraphale and Crowley’s direction.

“You _ juzzt _said we were enemies.”

“We worked together before.” Gabriel shrugged so huge, Beelzebub was impressed his blazer didn’t rip.

“And how well did that go?” Beelzebub narrowed their eyes at Gabriel.

“_ I, _ for one, am not responsible for _ those _abominations.” Gabriel shot a judgemental look at Aziraphale and Crowley, who seemed to be having a lovely time talking with the Them.

“_ That’zz _ what happenzz when angels and demons work together,” Beelzebub sneered. Satan forbid they ever end up becoming friends with an angel. Crowley looked so _ happy _around that stupid angel. It was disgusting.

Gabriel sipped his cosmo. These things were sweet. They seemed to be getting sweeter. He’d never seen Aziraphale look so sweet. So sweetly. At anyone. Not in Heaven. He was practically glowing here. Why had he never been so happy in Heaven?

“Am I a bad angel?” Gabriel groused.

“What.” Beelzebub looked flatly at Gabriel, unamused. “You’re the archangel fucking Gabriel. I don’t think it getzz any more holier than thou.”

Something turned Gabriel’s stomach, and his chest felt tight. He felt like he was floating, but not in the usual flying way. The world went blurry, and his throat closed up. He gasped for air and a weird noise came out of his throat. The world came back into some semblance of focus, but there was something wet on his face.

Beelzebub stared in horror. “Are you… crying?”

“Why is Aziraphale so happy down here? Why does _ he _make him so happy? What did I do wrong?” Gabriel blubbered.

“Oh, Satan help me.” Beelzebub rolled their eyes. Of course Gabriel would end up an emotional drunk. “For fuck’zz sake.”

Gabriel struggled with this weight in his chest. He’d never felt this before. It was gross and awful and it _ hurt, _ like his whole being was tightening from the inside. His own corporation was betraying him. He heaved up another weird, choking sound that alleviated some of the pressure and felt more tears leave his eyes. “Wh-wh-what is this?” he sobbed.

“Quiet down,” Beelzebub hissed. He grabbed Gabriel by the arm and dragged him to the edge of the garden, stomping through a hedge to give them some cover from the party. Anathema glanced in their direction, confused by the weird, awkward sound of… sobs? All she saw was Gabriel’s tall head disappear into the shadows beyond the hedge.

“Wh-what’s wrong w-with my…” Gabriel sniffled and then found his breath escaping him with these deep, watery sounds.

“You big fucking crybaby. Pull your shit together, archangel,” Beelzebub snapped.

“B-but why? Why is he… _ so _happy? He should be… he should be distraught! He’s lost his Heavenly privileges. But he doesn’t even care. Did he ever care about us? Or has it been that stupid demon this w-whole time!”

“What doezzz it matter?” Beelzebub sighed. It really was pathetic. The great, smug Gabriel, drunk and slurring, moaning about how Aziraphale might have never liked him. Were he literally anyone else, and had Beelzebub been just a tad bit more sober, they would have slapped him or just straight ditched him. But after this hours-long forced interaction, Beelzebub found themself raising a halting hand. Slowly but slowly, they gave Gabriel a pat on the shoulder.

“It matters!” Gabriel cried. “He was our _ brother. _ One of _ us. _And he… he was never happy…” The archangel covered his eyes and felt his whole body convulse.

“He’s a shit angel,” Beelzebub muttered.

“Did I fail him?” Gabriel looked up from his hand.

Beelzebub had never seen an angel look so pitiful. His deep purple eyes were shining with tears, and his broad mouth was twisted and trembling. He looked… beautiful. He wore despair like a terrible mask on handsome features. Beelzebub felt drawn to his suffering, struck speechless by the pull.

Finally, Beelzebub found their voice. “Yezz,” they said quietly. “I think you did fail him.” Not an ounce of remorse or sympathy touched their impassive face.

Gabriel was shocked, then angry. His stomach turned as he shoved Beelzebub away from him. “What do you know?” he slurred. “You don’t know anything!” The archangel took a few stumbling steps into the darkness and tripped.

Beelzebub watched the proud angel brought low by a few too many cosmos with dark pleasure. They heard a sudden retching sound and grinned as cosmo and cake came back up. It was tempting to leave him there, miserable and sick. But they had an even better idea.


	2. If You Need a Friend, Don't Look to a Stranger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel wakes up naked in bed with Beelzebub, and flees hungover and panicked. After some contemplation, he seeks advice from Aziraphale.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been listening to a [Russian Doll playlist](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6HS1TfwENQ2aJAUkFwq2Rs) on Spotify while writing this fic. The title of this chapter comes from "The Promise" by When in Rome.

Gabriel was pretty sure he was dead. It occurred to him moments later that he couldn’t die. Or if he had discorporated, it surely wouldn’t hurt as much as this. He felt as if he’d taken several blows to the head. From inside his skull. He opened his eyes and couldn’t see anything. Oh, God, had he gone blind? What terrible fate had befallen him?

His memory of the day before came back fuzzy, like some weird dream. A… birthday party? For the Antichrist? And… Crowley and Aziraphale, those idiots, had been there. And Beelzebub. The prophecy witch descendant. A bunch of tweens. Had that really happened?

He groped blindly in the soft darkness. As he reached out, he felt sheets, soft as sin, slide over his bare flesh. He was in a bed. Whose bed? He didn’t have a bed. Did he? Oh, his head ached with every thought. He reached further and discovered something. Some _ one. _ Equally naked. Even softer than the sheets. Then a muffled, sleepy buzz as the other someone shifted beside him.

Gabriel sucked in a breath, the stinging pain behind his eyes sharpening to a knot in the center of his skull. Before he could make sense of the confusion of stimuli, the knot was rent in twain with a snap. Low candles illuminated around the room, a trickle of flame chasing back the darkness. He wasn’t blind. And he was definitely in bed with the prince of Hell.

Gabriel gasped and sat up, trying to cover his nakedness with the sheet. Pain singed behind his eyes. Jerking the sheets to cover himself only served to uncover the lithe form beside him, revealing planes of pale flesh, mottled and blemished in places. Gabriel all but shrieked and threw the sheet back, shutting his eyes to preserve his innocence.

Beelzebub smiled lazily at him with half-lidded eyes. “Why zzo shy now, archangel?”

“Oh. God.” Gabriel didn’t dare open his eyes. “Oh my God.  _ Oh my God. _ ”

“Zztop invoking Her,” Beelzebub winced. “You did enough of that lazzt night.”

“What did you do to me!” Gabriel shouted and immediately regretted it. He felt dizzy with the pain and held his head to stop it from throbbing.

“It wazz all your doing…” The prince pushed themself up leisurely from the bed. The angel didn’t dare look, but could feel the mattress dip as the demon crept toward him. Beelzebub relished in the way Gabriel flinched when they ran a hand up the tense muscles of his back.

“No,” Gabriel breathed. He squinted at Beelzebub as the demon slithered up beside him, hanging on his shoulder. He could feel a slender thigh nudge his and smell the brimstone rank in the prince’s hair.

“Yezz…” Beelzebub assured him. 

Gabriel lurched back and tumbled off the bed. Oh, he was definitely naked. So, so naked. For the first time in existence, he felt the sin of his nakedness. He looked around frantically for his clothes, every turn of his head bringing on a new wave of nauseating dizziness.

“Your clothezz are covered in puke.” Beelzebub loved this. Sweet Gabriel unable to remember the debauchery that may or may not have happened last night. Embarrassed, afraid, humiliated. They pressed a slim hand between their thighs. They could get off on this.

“Why are my clothes covered in puke?” Gabriel looked aghast. Just what had happened last night? What sick deviance had Beelzebub made him act out?

“You puked on them.”

“I… I…” Gabriel looked frantically at Beelzebub and darted down to see the prince’s hand pressed between their legs. He swallowed down a gasp and staggered away. “I have to get out of here.”

“Zzo soon?” Beelzebub gathered up the luxurious sheet and draped it over themself. They slid from the bed as Gabriel stumbled out of the bedroom and into the equally dank, dark space beyond.

Gabriel was sure he was in Hell. He couldn’t see a glimmer of sunlight anywhere. Everything was gloomy, strangely warm despite the cool blue light that struggled to cut the darkness here and there. But it was strangely… human. Like an apartment. He wasn’t sure if the glint of metal on the wall was a torture device or modern art.

“I would not advizze leaving without clothezz on.”

“You brought me to Hell, didn’t you?” Gabriel was pale and frightened.

“If that’zz what you call London.”

Some small relief. Gabriel’s shoulders sagged. “You… have an apartment in London?”

Beelzebub shrugged. It was none of the archangel’s business where they had Earthly residences.

“You… you brought me here, after…”

“After you puked all over yourzzelf? Yezz.”

“S-so you could seduce me?!” Gabriel shrank.

Beelzebub raised an eyebrow. “Who zzaid I did the seduzzing?”

Gabriel reddened, eyes wide. He was frozen in place, silently imploring Beelzebub to fill in the blanks from last night.

“I barely got you out of your puke stained clothezz before you were all over me. I didn’t know you felt that way, Archangel.” Beelzebub padded across the dark wood floors toward Gabriel. The silk sheet draped over pale flesh in a fashion reminiscent of their dress in the oldest days, regal despite their stature. “Zzince you don’t remember,” they mused as they reached for Gabriel’s strong jaw, “why don’t you show me again?”

Gabriel’s tongue was thick and dry in his mouth. He swallowed on a sandpaper throat. His eyes darted down the generously exposed skin and the temptation of what was covered. The fever under his skin was chilled by his nakedness.

“What’zz done izz done.” Beelzebub grinned.

“I have to go.” Gabriel shook his head, grimacing in pain as he backed away. “Ugh, God. My head,” he moaned. With a wince, he managed to miracle himself some clothes, albeit far more rumpled than usual. “You… you won’t tell anyone about this, will you?” he asked in a desperate whisper.

“And sully my own reputation?” Beelzebub shot back.

Gabriel let out a sharp sigh of relief. “R-right. Right…” He shuffled further toward the door, dazed and confused.

Beelzebub smiled. Angels were such suckers.

  
  
  


Gabriel stumbled from the alien landscape of Beelzebub’s apartment out onto a covered stair that was merciful on his eyes. As he looked around to orient himself, the daylight flooding the bottom of the stair blinded him. It was disorienting to be walking  _ down  _ toward a blinding light. He held his reeling head and tried to fight the rising sick he felt in his gut.

At the foot of the stairs, he turned sharply and nearly bowled over a grungy looking individual smoking a cigarette.

“Watch where you’re fuckin’ going, shithead,” the smoker growled as he squared his shoulders.

“I-I’m sorry.” Gabriel wheedled back and stumbled off the curb. His stomach dropped and he floudered to catch himself on the bonnet of a car parked on the street.

“Hey! Hands off my fucking car!”

Gabriel staggered back. “Leave me alone!” he cried. He wheeled around and tried to take in the street. Broken windows and condemned signs leered at him from the broken-toothed monoliths of dilapidated apartment buildings. Trash scudded down the street around cars booted to be towed, and the few people walking about could only be described as ‘unsavory.’ He twisted around and found himself utterly and hopelessly lost. His head was pounding so badly, he couldn’t even place himself with a little divine assistance.

He tried very hard not to whimper pitifully as he shut his eyes and held his temples. He gathered all the strength he could muster and sent himself Heavenward. Just the thought of facing Head Office made him sick. He couldn’t be seen like this.

The smoker stared as the pansy dressed in pastels suddenly vanished. He considered his cigarette with suspicion, then shrugged and took another drag.

Gabriel half-sighed, half-sobbed as he sank to his knees in the majesty of the Elysium. Heaven was an endless landscape of pure beauty in all its forms. There were provinces of comely neighborhoods, remote, vacant tundras, expanses of clouds bathed in glorious light. Gabriel’s very favorite were the Elysian Fields--which looked remarkably like the meadows of Mehlweg, Germany overlooking the Alps. All it lacked was the indomitable Maria singing about the living hills.

Heaven stripped away the confines and pain of his corporeal, human body. He stretched his many wings and let the light of his being spread across the meadow. Elysium always brought him peace. Well, normally. Now that he was freed of the mortal agony of a hangover, he was left with the ethereal agony of what he had done.

Things had gotten… weird. Weird and possibly bad. Pretty bad. Almost definitely bad. Heaven had not shut its pearly gates upon him, for which he was relieved, but that didn’t absolve him completely.

He, an Archangel, only one step below the Metatron in proximity to God, one of her finest Creations, had tainted the temple of his body with pleasures of the flesh. Not just with any mere mortal, or--God forbid--another angel, but the prince of Hell. Lord of the Flies themself. Beelzebub. Satan’s own right hand.

Gabriel was exposed to a tempest of emotions for the first time. Guilt. Fear. Worry. And something else… This feeling like something crawling on the back of his neck, like a fly that couldn’t be brushed away.

There could only be one explanation. He was in love with the prince of Hell. There could be no other reason he had slept with them. One did not have sex without love--well, certainly not an angel like himself. Did alcohol work like a truth serum? Had these latent feelings been here all along?

The longer he mulled, the more he was visited by unbidden images of Beelzebub’s sly smirk. The only way he could cope with the haunting visions of bare flesh was to admit that he must be in love.

He could speak to no one about this. Well… there was one…

“Aziraphale!” Gabriel called loudly as he let himself in to the cottage that apparently contained him.

“Jesus Christ!” Crowley shouted and fell out of his chair.

“Gabriel!” Aziraphale nearly dropped his book. His glasses jumped down his nose in surprise.

“What the fuck, man?” Crowley growled as he slowly picked himself up off the floor. “You can’t just barge into our house.”

“Really, Gabriel. This is not like my bookshop. It’s quite rude to come in unannounced.”

Gabriel looked uncharacteristically abashed. “But… I did announce myself. When I came in the door.”

“You have to knock, you idiot,” Crowley snapped.

“Oh. Er.” Gabriel shuffled back out of the threshold and gently closed the door. He knocked.

“Whatever you’re selling, we’re not buying!” Crowley shouted and rolled his eyes at Aziraphale.

Aziraphale could not ignore the worry that gnawed at him. Despite his abrupt entrance, Gabriel did not seem his usual overconfident self. There was a crack in his armor. Something amiss. He put down his book gently and laid his glasses atop it.

“You’re not seriously going to let him in, are you?” Crowley asked.

“Something’s not right…”

Crowley caught Aziraphale by the wrist as he passed. “And it’s not our problem, angel.”

Aziraphale passed a worried look over Crowley. “Let me at least hear what he has to say.”

Crowley sighed. He rubbed at Aziraphale’s wrist, then let it go. “Fine. But you don’t owe him anything.”

Aziraphale smiled at him and leaned over to kiss his brow.

Gabriel wrung his hands as he stood outside the door. Would Aziraphale really not see him? He felt a pang of guilt, that half-remembered tight feeling in his chest. Finally, the door opened and Gabriel smiled in relief.

“Aziraphale,” he said, more mild this time.

“Hello, Gabriel.” He studied the angel’s face with soft concern, then offered him a smile. “Would you like to come in?”

“Uh… sure.” He complied with one of his typical Gabriel grins.

“Why are you letting him in?” Crowley groaned. He cupped his hands around his mouth. “We’re retired! Get out!”

“Crowley,” Aziraphale said in a pleasant tone that sounded threatening only to Crowley, “would you go put the kettle on?”

The demon glared at nothing in particular. He knew that tone, and he knew there would be worse-than-hell to pay if he didn’t do as he was told. That didn’t stop him from grumbling about it.

“What brings you to our little cottage?” Aziraphale asked. Had Gabriel arrived more composed, he would have been concerned it had something to do with Heavenly loyalties. Instead, Gabriel had this frazzled air about him.

Gabriel was having second thoughts about this whole conversation. For one, he hadn’t expected Crowley to be here--such was how little he knew about love. And for another, he was certain he knew what the real solution was: forget anything at all had happened and hope Beelzebub did the same.

Aziraphale watched him patiently. He went back to his chair and sat with the air of someone who would continue to wait patiently.

“I… Well, you see, I’ve been put in charge of overseeing some of the cherubic duties. Bit of housekeeping and the like. And, well…” He cleared his throat. “I don’t know much about love.” He hoped to leave it at that.

Aziraphale blinked slowly to hide the rush of curiosity that surged through his mind. “I see.” Was this… Gabriel pining over someone? The archangel in love? Just who in all of Heaven Above could be worthy of Gabriel’s affection? “What would you like to know?”

Some of the nervous energy left Gabriel’s frame, gratitude painted on his face. “What do you do when you’re in love? What is the… procedure?”

Aziraphale chuckled. “Well, that depends. Have you--er, ahem, do the two parties involved know that they’re in love?”

“I, uh--that’s hard to say… You don’t always know, do you?” he laughed evasively.

Well, when it came to cherubic duties involving mortals in love, an angel  _ would  _ know precisely how each party feels, but the same could not be said about ethereal beings. Aziraphale knew that much. Gabriel  _ was  _ in love. Aziraphale was dying to know.

“I suppose so. That’s the way it is between mortals, hm?” Aziraphale said lightly. “Well, with mortals… if one is unsure if the object of their affection loves them, they might start by communicating through their love language.”

“There’s a language?” Gabriel took a step closer.

“More than just one. Well, according to some. I think there’s some merit to it.” Aziraphale peered up at Gabriel, eyes twinkling with promise. “Here. There’s a book about it. But it’s really just the formal gathering of a philosophy of love as old as, well, us.” He stood and went to one of his many bookshelves, scanning the titles.

“Basically, the philosophy states that each person has their own love language that they respond to. And they are… let’s see if I can remember… Gift giving, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of devotion, and…”

“Physical touch,” Crowley shouted from the kitchen. He wouldn’t miss eavesdropping on this conversation for the world.

“Of course,” Aziraphale chuckled. “Oh, here it is.” He pulled a book from the shelf and offered it to Gabriel. “I know it’s only a silly book written by a mortal, but… You might glean something helpful from it.” He looked up at Gabriel, studying his every expression.

Gabriel hesitated, then took the book. “I see…” He cleared his throat and the look of wonder from his eyes. “Right. That seems simple enough. Love languages. Got it. Thanks.”

It was as simple as that. He would prove his love to Beelzebub somehow. That would make up for his sin of the flesh. If it was true love, all would be right in the eyes of the Lord. And it had to be true love. There was no other way he would have given in to temptation.

There could be no other reason he found himself restless, thinking of the prince’s narrow face with that tight, devious smirk. The ghost of soft flesh under his fingertips, visions of that night; Beelzebub’s slender body moving sinuously atop his own, small, strong hands pulling at his hair, holding tight to his jaw, pressing against his throat. 

“I do wish you the best of luck,” Aziraphale said, leaning toward Gabriel. “With your… new responsibilities.” He beamed, all innocence and sunshine.

“What?” Gabriel snapped from his thoughts. “Thanks.” A false, empty grin spread across his face, and then he turned to go.

“What,” Crowley stuck his head out of the kitchen after the door shut behind Gabriel, “The fuck. Was that about.”

Aziraphale wiggled in excitement. “I don’t know!” They shared a look of conspiratorial excitement.

“That was way too suspicious, right?”

“Oh my goodness, did you see how distracted he was?”

“He’s got it bad.”

“Got what bad?” Aziraphale paused.

“ _ It. _ It means…” Crowley sighed. “He means he’s got a crush. Or he’s in love. Or something.”

“Oh. Yes. Yes! Who do you think it is?”

Crowley tilted his head with a devilish grin. “He was having an awfully  _ lovely  _ time with Beelzebub at the party.”

“ _ No. _ ” Aziraphale looked scandalized. He covered his mouth. “Oh, my God. You’re right.”

Crowley shrank back with a pained expression. “That is  _ not  _ going to go well.”

“They left together… Didn’t they? Crowley,” Aziraphale rushed over to the demon and took his hand, “Crowley, did you see? Did they leave together?”

“I didn’t see. You… don’t think..?”

Aziraphale gasped. They stared at each other, wide-eyed, and then erupted into laughter.


	3. When I Saw You, I Knew I Was Cursed...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What do you give the prince of Hell who has everything? Gabriel tries his hand at giving Beelzebub a gift to show his affection - tickets to a live sex show in Amsterdam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to [Jen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fountainjen/pseuds/Fountainjen/works) for invaluable insight to Amsterdam live sex clubs (which I still took artistic liberty with lol), and [IngThing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ingthing/works) for helping me with edits!!
> 
> Title is from the lyrics of "Morning After" by Ariel Pink & Weyes Blood - playlist for this fic is from [Russian Doll](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6HS1TfwENQ2aJAUkFwq2Rs)

What to give the prince of Hell who has everything? It wasn’t like Gabriel could give them salvation. No, no, that was too grand a gesture. It would be presumptuous, not to mention very questionable behavior on his part. He had to prove his love to God, not to the rest of Heaven. Heaven wouldn’t understand. No, this was a… private matter.

Gabriel didn’t dare think of how any of his fellow angels would react to what had transpired that night. His descent to Earth was, honestly, out of his control. And what had happened after that… He found himself glancing Upwards more often than usual. He wasn’t questioning God’s plan, he was just wondering what She thought. He knew that She knew. He often found himself checking his wings for any blemish, any hint that She was displeased with him. 

These roiling emotions were new. Was that some kind of punishment? A test? Was he meant to repent for this sin, or absolve himself of it by seeing it through? Should he deny the feelings that had led him into indulgence, or prove the truth of them? He could not turn back the hands of time or change what had happened. It had to be. He was in love with Beelzebub. This singular truth was something that gave him relief.

What did demons want? Well, perhaps the opposite of what angels wanted. So what was something, some gift, that Gabriel himself wanted? He would love to see Julie Andrews return to the stage and reprise her role in the  _ Sound of Music _ . What sort of stage show would a demon want to see? What was the opposite of the  _ Sound of Music _ ?

The thought came to him unbidden: pornography. Some sort of pornographic show. Surely Beelzebub would like that. He could show his willingness to debauch himself for their affection, and then it would be clear how  _ he  _ felt. And perhaps, then it would be clear how  _ they  _ felt. This simple love language of gift giving would be the answer to everything.

“How did you get thizz number?” Beelzebub hissed into the phone. It was a decrepit old pay phone  mounted to the grimy wall of their office. Even the prince of Hell didn’t get the latest upgrades down here.

“I have my ways,” Gabriel replied primly. Bathed in the pearlescent light of his airy office, which was made up of more windows than walls, he sat back in his chair, legs crossed at the knee, tapping his toe in the air idly. He fully ignored the little flutter in the pit of his stomach. He had been staring at his phone for longer than he cared to admit.

Beelzebub smirked. “Since you took care to call my perzzonal number, I azzzume this is a perzzonal call?” they asked in a lilting, scratchy tone. They had enjoyed the memory of Gabriel recoiling from them in horror, quietly begging them not to tell anyone. For their part, they hadn’t. They had been telling the truth about sullying their reputation should even a suggestion come out that they had spent a night with the archangel.

Gabriel’s heart pounded in his chest and he had to swallow a lump in his throat. Why did these corporations have so many subtle responses to the smallest things? “Ah… yes. This isn’t… exactly a business call.” He cleared his throat.

“What izz it, then?” Beelzebub leaned against the block of the pay phone lazily. Did Gabriel want to ensure their secrecy? Bribe them to make sure they did not speak a word? They grinned at the thought. Oh, what turmoil Gabriel must have been in.

“I bought tickets.” Gabriel fiddled with a sleek, golden pen on his desk. “For you. And I. To a… show. On Earth.”

Beelzebub frowned at the receiver, brow creased low. “You bought ticketzz,” they repeated in a flat tone.

Gabriel noted that the buzz of the prince’s voice had become a drone. It had lost the rising pitch it had before. “Yes--to a show I thought  _ you  _ might like,” he blustered on in a confident tone. “To, erm…” he hesitated, “make up for having to, ah…” His voice dropped to a low whisper, slightly muffled by his hand, “take me home from the party.”

Beelzebub looked doubtfully at the pay phone and scraped at a bit of leftover sticker on the side. What was Gabriel playing at? What was this all about? “Why should I truzzt you?” If this was a trap, it was a very poorly planned one. But Beelzebub came to expect shoddy plans from the idiots Up There.

“Trust me?” Gabriel asked, astonished. “I’m an Archangel. I don’t lie.”

Beelzebub raised a brow. There was some merit to that. But this still didn’t make any sense. There had to be some ulterior motive here. It was suspicious, Gabriel inviting them to meet on Earth given what had happened the last time. The demon turned to rest their back against the wall beside the phone, glancing up at the viscera stained ceiling. They couldn’t resist. “Do you mizzz me, Gabriel?” they asked in a low voice.

Gabriel feared for a split second that he had been struck down by God Herself. A bolt of lightning coursed through him, from ear straight to his groin, a feeling like he’d never experienced before. He sat upright. The heaving of his chest reassured him that he had not been smote. In fact, he felt a very pleasant tingle creeping between his thighs.

He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t say he  _ missed  _ Beelzebub exactly. It wasn’t that. It was only that Gabriel had been thinking of them every day, multiple times a day, like clockwork. It was just that he needed to show them his true feelings, the feelings that must have sparked between them that night that he couldn’t remember.

“Will you come?” he asked as he fidgeted in his seat. He couldn’t answer Beelzebub’s question. It revealed too much he wasn’t yet prepared to say.

Beelzebub frowned. Gabriel was being evasive, but in a very intriguing way. That silence after the question was telling. Just what had that question done to the angel, up in his Glorious office? “I am buzzy, you know,” they muttered. “But I suppozze I would be stupid to turn down a gift from an angel.” Or stupid to accept one.

Gabriel sighed in relief. “Great.” He fished the ticket out of his breast pocket surreptitiously, despite the fact that he was totally alone in his large office, and checked the address. “Do you know the Casa Nostra in Amsterdam?”

“Hmmm…” Beelzebub buzzed. He couldn’t mean… Surely he didn’t mean to book tickets to a show in the red light district? The demon gave the phone a bemused smile. “Sure. I know it. Do you?”

“I’ve never been.”

“I zzee.”

“I’ll meet you there. Unless…”

“Unlezzz?”

“Unless, ah,” Gabriel tapped his fingers on the desk, “unless you’d like an escort.”

Beelzebub was torn between horror and amusement. A small, confused titter burst into an all-out guffaw. “Ezzcort!” Beelzebub shouted between peals of laughter. “Oh, archangel, I think it’zz  _ you  _ who might need an ezzcort. Shall I zzend one ahead?”

Gabriel frowned and cleared his throat. “No. No. I’ll be fine.” He wasn’t sure if Beelzebub even heard him over the continued laughter streaming through the phone. “It’s tonight. The show.” He raised his voice a bit in hopes of being heard. “The show is tonight at ten.”

Beelzebub’s mocking laughter finally began to fade. “An ezzcort!” Gabriel heard Beelzebub howl again, distant from the phone. Was Beelzebub laughing with someone? He couldn’t hear anyone else from his end of the phone, but he felt cold horror at the thought that Beelzebub might be laughing at him with other demons. Was he just a big joke to Beelzebub?

With an amused sigh, Beelzebub returned the phone to their ear. “Tonight, then.” Then, they hung up. 

What a strange call. Beelzebub didn’t know what to make of it. They would be sure not to come unprepared. It would be smart to have an entourage, or at the very least bring Dagon. And yet, Beelzebub found themself reluctant to mention the strange call to anyone else. There was something fragile and honest about Gabriel’s strong baritone over the phone. 

They would go alone. It wasn’t as if they were defenseless. Just a year ago, they had been prepared to go to all out war with Heaven. Gabriel had once been known as the warring angel, a fearsome force of righteous devastation. But that had been during the first Schism. Now he was a measly bureaucrat in a turtleneck.

Beelzebub smirked. They would love to see Gabriel just  _ try. _

Gabriel sighed as the line went dead. He was left with a flicker of concern that Beelzebub was making a laughing stock of him in Hell. Even so, that small worry was overpowered by an uplifted feeling—Beelzebub had agreed. It was a date. He was suddenly giddy at the thought. A date! His first date, unless you counted Adam’s birthday party. But that hadn’t been planned. Still, it had been sort of a date—drinks, chatting, and ending the night with… indulgences.

Speaking of indulgences… Gabriel’s eyes grew wide. What if… things went really well tonight? What if Beelzebub wanted to… take him home, again? Oh, Lord, he hadn’t even thought about that. He couldn’t even remember his first time.

He was sure he’d done it right. But how? He didn’t know how to do  _ it. _ It must have been the love in his heart that guided him. No need to worry. Yes, everything would be fine. He would perform exquisitely, just as he was sure he had done the first time. Confidence beamed in his smile.

Gabriel leapt to his feet and gave the desk a little knock of excitement. He was going to see Beelzebub tonight and give them this gift--proof of his affection. And maybe… just maybe the prince of Hell would return it.

Gabriel’s clean-cut radiance stuck out like a sore thumb in the red light district. People stared. He looked wealthy in his pristine heather-gray suit and tie, the fine lavender of his button-up oozing with class, but not even the prostitutes approached him from their stoops. There was something  _ too  _ clean about him that warded them off.

He took in the sights blithely as he strolled down the canal. Now was not the time to be judgemental. This was all for Beezlebub’s pleasure. And in that aspect, it was  _ perfect. _ The ever-present neon red glow of the place just screamed  _ Hell  _ and  _ Sin. _ The canal reflected the glaring red light back like a river of fire.

The Casa Nostra was a tall building with a facade that had been lovingly maintained. It was hard to miss, with its huge neon sign that jarred against the carved columns and filigree. Gabriel stood just out front and checked his watch. The red light of the marquee seemed somehow repelled by his holy presence.

“What’zz a nice boy like you doing in a plazze like thizz?”

Gabriel jumped at the sound of Beelzebub’s voice so close behind him. He turned, all smiles. “There you are.” Immediately, he knew it was true. He was in love with this being. The sight of their face after only a few days away made his heart sing.

Beelzebub smirked up at Gabriel. This stupid archangel had no idea what he was getting into, did he? But, Beelzebub noted with some disappointment, he didn’t seem nearly as agitated as they had hoped.

“I’m glad you could make it.” Gabriel saw Beelzebub had dressed for the occasion. They had toned down their regent garb—albeit only slightly. After all, they were still a prince, whether on Earth or in Hell. They wore a pinstriped suit, tailored much the same as their usual attire, but Gabriel saw no collar beneath their lapels. Instead, he caught a glimpse of what looked like wide-holed fishnet, not unlike what peeked out from their boots.

“Zzo… do you know what sort of zzhow thizz izz?” Beelzebub stuffed their hands in their pockets, chin lifted impiously at the much taller angel.

“Yes,” Gabriel said pleasantly. “I wanted it to be a bit of a surprise. I think you’ll like it.”

Beelzebub’s eyes widened slightly. What was happening? The Casa Nostra specialized in live sex shows. Why was Gabriel inviting them to something like this? And… looking so goddamn pleased about it?

“Shall we?” Gabriel offered his arm like a gentleman.

This was really happening. Beelzebub took one look at the proffered arm and sneered, hunching a shoulder as if to shield themself from the offensive gesture and stomped forward.

Gabriel tried his best not to feel hurt, and fell in stride with the demon prince.

Beelzebub was beginning to think more and more that this was a trap. It had to be. They glanced furtively around as Gabriel gave the usher their tickets and they were shown to their seats. Gabriel had gotten them a private table in the second row from the stage. To a live sex show. Any minute now, the place was going to be flooded with angels to torture the prince of Hell for seducing the archangel Gabriel. That was the only possible explanation.

“Would you like something to drink? There looks to be a bar over that way. I could—”

“What are you playing at, archangel?” Beelzebub snapped.

“I just thought you’d like a drink,” Gabriel said innocently.

“Cut the shit. I zzee right through your little zzcheme…”

Gabriel balked, then covered his embarrassment with a warm chuckle. “You do?” he asked sweetly.

That reaction just threw Beelzebub harder for a loop.

“Am I that obvious?” he asked with a smile.

Beelzebub had never felt so hot under the collar. The most beautiful angel in all of Heaven was smiling at them as if they were the most precious thing in all of Creation. They gripped onto the table for dear life. “What’re you talking about?” Beelzebub asked through gritted teeth.

Gabriel blinked big purple eyes at the prince. “Er… what are  _ you  _ talking about?” Oh no. This was all getting confusing.

Beelzebub’s expression twisted and pinched in a series of pained and disgusted expressions. “I… Fuck.” Gabriel had really invited him to a sex show  _ just because _ . What the  _ fuck. _ “Yeah, I’ll have a drink.”

Gabriel’s brow curled in confusion, but he gladly took the opportunity to side-step that conversation so early in the night. “Cosmo, right?” He grinned.

Beelzebub nodded wearily and watched the archangel go. What in Hell’s name was happening? What did Gabriel mean when he said, “am I that obvious?” No! No, it was not obvious in the slightest what his scheme was if he was going to smile at them, his arch nemesis, like that! Beelzebub felt on edge for altogether different reasons.

Gabriel returned shortly with a Cosmopolitan for the demon and a glass of red wine for himself.

“You’re drinking?” Beelzebub asked, forcing on a casual air. The tightness of their shoulders betrayed them. “Do you think that wizze?” they smirked.

“It’s just wine. As you said, my associates drink in church.” He winked.

Beelzebub drowned the urge to recoil in their cosmo.

The house lights dimmed, the stage lights came up, music rose from the speakers, and the large red curtain gave way. Without any preamble, the audience was treated to the sight of two beautiful women sharing a double-headed dildo. Gabriel took in the sight with the distant interest of one watching some kind of nature documentary. Beelzebub did much the same, but as one watching a particularly boring nature documentary.

Gabriel fought the urge to look over at Beelzebub. He lost. Deep purple eyes darted over to the prince of Hell, eager to see how much they were enjoying this sinful treat. It was with some disappointment that he saw nothing of pleasure on the demon’s face. He sipped at his wine and hoped the show would proceed to something that would pique Beelzebub’s interest.

The next act featured two men putting their cocks into various orifices. Again, not even a glimmer of interest from the prince. Now Gabriel was getting a bit nervous. Toward the end, Beelzebub stood up and muttered something about getting another drink. Gabriel half rose to offer to get it for them, but the demon was already sulking off.

Gabriel felt supremely awkward watching the show by himself, even for the few minutes that Beelzebub was gone. He nervously downed most of his wine by the time the demon slumped back into their seat.

As the song for the next act filled the air, Gabriel leaned towards his date and asked, “What do you think of the show so far?”

Beelzebub leaned heavily on their hand, elbow braced on the table. They hardly bothered to lower their voice. “Honezztly, it’zz boring.”

“Oh.” Gabriel’s smile dimmed.

Beelzebub looked sidelong at Gabriel. “What izz thizz about?”

“I wanted to give you something you’d like,” Gabriel said honestly.

It was true. Archangels didn’t lie. Beezlebub narrowed their eyes, the corner of their lips tugged in Gabriel’s direction. “Finish your wine, archangel.” Beelzebub sat up and downed half their cosmo in one swig. “I’ll show you what I like,” they said with dark promise.

Gabriel brightened. Well, that was easy. Why hadn’t he thought to do that in the first place and just  _ ask  _ Beelzebub what they liked? He took a rather ungainly go at the rest of his wine, miraculously managing not to spill any on his light-colored suit.

Beelzebub knocked over their chair as they stood and grabbed Gabriel by his silk tie. Gabriel gasped and tripped over his feet to catch up. The prince of Hell all but dragged Gabriel out of the theater. The angel didn’t look back, too intrigued by this sudden zeal in Beelzebub. 

Once on the street, Beelzebub flicked the tie out of their hand, walking along the canal with purpose. They knew the district well enough that their destination wasn’t far.

Gabriel straightened his tie. Beelzebub was smiling. That had to be a good sign.

“Come on. We’ll need a room.” The demon gestured toward one of the narrow buildings at the end of a street, luring Gabriel after him through the door with a look.

Gabriel didn’t think twice. With ease, Beelzebub claimed a reservation that had not existed until the moment they spoke it. Key in hand, the demon lured Gabriel deeper, until they were alone.


	4. ... I Was the One Who Got Bit First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beelzebub shows innocent Gabriel a few of their favorite things. (CW: BDSM, training, D/s, choking)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Ba'al" means "Lord" in Ugaritic, and is part of the origin of Beelzebub's title, Ba'al Zəbûb.
> 
> Title is from the lyrics of "Morning After" by Ariel Pink & Weyes Blood - playlist for this fic is from [Russian Doll](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6HS1TfwENQ2aJAUkFwq2Rs)

Once they were alone, Gabriel began to realize what Beelzebub meant to show him. The prince had brought him to a hotel room that provided little more than a bed and a door that locked. 

He felt bad that he had provided such a lackluster gift, failed to prove his love to the prince. He opened his mouth to say so, and found Beelzebub quick to jerk his tie forward and put a finger on his lips.

“Don’t zzpeak. Your voice annoyzz me.”

Gabriel shut his mouth.

“I like an obedient boy,” Beelzebub buzzed in Gabriel’s ear as they wrapped his tie around their hand, drawing him further down. “You’ll do azz you’re told.” They loosened their grip on Gabriel’s tie so as to meet his eyes once more. Gabriel looked curious. And so innocent. Oh, so innocent.

Gabriel had never heard Beelzebub say they liked anything. Praise from the object of his affection felt good. He wanted to be worthy of more of it. “I’ll do anything you like, if you’ll sh--”

Beelzebub slapped Gabriel’s cheek. Hard enough to get his attention, but not so much that his jaw hurt. He was more startled than anything. “Don’t zzpeak!” Beelzebub snapped. Gabriel touched his cheek and opened his mouth to apologize, then thought better of it.

Seeing that the archangel caught on, Beelzebub smiled again. “That’zz better.” They studied Gabriel with narrowed eyes. The slap had been a test--and apparently Gabriel really was here to please them. He hadn’t even had a fleeting fight response. Beelzebub still could not fathom why, but no matter. If Gabriel was tempted by them, then they had succeeded.

“The tie izz a nice touch…” Beelzebub mused, testing the silk with their fingers. “It’zz  _ bound  _ to come in handy.” They grinned and left Gabriel standing there. Beelzebub sat down on the edge of the bed and unbuttoned their coat. Gabriel glimpsed pale skin, small breasts crowned with purple-rose nipples, criss-crossed with black lines. Their nakedness was all the more tantalizing than the obscene nudity of the performers because it was less complete.

Beelzebub tilted their head at Gabriel, then beckoned him forward. Gabriel came as if in a dream, and again the demon dragged him down by his tie. One knee buckled, and as Beelzebub continued to pull, the other followed. Now it was Beelzebub who looked down on Gabriel.

Gabriel was faced with being close enough to touch the demon, and found he wanted to. He remembered the ghost of Beelzebub’s soft as sin skin, oh-so briefly under his fingers. He’d dreamed of that night, handfuls of soft, supple skin, the strange texture of mottled flesh, the heat of another body against his own. His hands twitched to move, but a sudden bootheel between his thighs stopped him short, made his stomach drop.

“You won’t touch me,” Beelzebub told him. “You’ll do azz I zzay.” Beelzebub leaned in close, dark eyes glittering. “Say ‘yes, Ba’al.’”

Gabriel’s mouth felt dry. He swallowed and felt the tight constriction of the tie around his throat. “... Yes, Ba’al.” The dark, ancient word burned his tongue.

“Unlace my boots.” Beelzebub pressed their boot harder against Gabriel’s groin, and could feel that he was pristine--his sexless, angelic self. More’s the pity. They would have liked to feel Gabriel get turned on from something like this.

Gabriel moved his hands to the boot pressed against his slacks, his palms so broad they nearly encompassed it entirely.

“Not with your handzz.” Beelzebub said patiently. They tilted their head, rolling the heel against Gabriel’s crotch. Gabriel thought to miracle them off--all their clothes, for that matter--but, as he had not been told to do so, he assumed Beelzebub would tell him. “With your teeth.”

That was certainly not how Gabriel thought boots were meant to be untied, but if that’s what Beelzebub liked, so be it. He took Beelzebub’s ankle in his hand. Just the faint whisper of skin against his palm through the fishnet thrilled him. He lowered his head, almost fully prostrate so that his mouth could reach the laces. They were knotted tightly in place, so it took more effort than he anticipated to work the laces free. He became acquainted with the taste of leather, the stink of Hell stung his senses, and he felt Beelzebub’s gaze through the back of his skull.

“Did you drool on my bootzz?” Beelzebub was already wet with arousal, their cock twitching against the tight seam of their trousers. “I can feel it. Clean that up.” They offered their boot expectantly. 

Gabriel lifted his head, but saw only Beezlebub’s impassive face. He was determined to satisfy the prince. He grabbed for the edge of his fine coat to rub the black leather clean, but before he could move much further, Beelzebub’s small hand found the back of his head and pressed his cheek against the boot, grinding his face against it. His breath caught, surprised by the act, but more so by the roughness of the laces, the softness of the leather. It was the smell that made him grimace. He felt his own saliva smear across his cheek.

Once Beelzebub let up, he lifted his head again. Beelzebub inclined their head, and Gabriel eased the boot off. For just a moment, he was blessed with a touch of skin, a pale foot striped with net. Just as quickly, the other boot was thrust into his hands.

As he worked with more confidence on the second boot, trying not to wet the leather as he worked, he could hear a faint buzz. He couldn’t see what Beelzebub was doing, but the bare foot drifted further from his limited sight. He heard a zipper opening, the sound of fabric against skin. To ensure he had done the job right, he brushed his clean-shaven cheek against the leather, and only then lifted his head.

The prince of Hell had their thighs spread, zipper splayed apart. One slender hand delved past the crotch of their pants, thumb and finger around the base of their erect cock. He could see fingers curled beneath the fabric below the exposed erection. He was too shy to watch. Purple eyes darted up to see the sardonic grin on Beelzebub’s lips.

“You’re dizzguzzting.” Beelzebub leaned toward him and took his chin in hand, wiping the wet left on his lips. Gabriel heard the degrading word, but he could see the absolute pleasure written on Beelzebub’s face. He leaned into the demon’s hand, wanting to be touched.

“Hmm. I suppozze angelzz are bezzt at following orderzz…” Beelzebub mused, slowly stroking their own cock with slick fingers. 

The smell overpowered Gabriel, distinct from the awful stink of Hell on the demon’s boots. This smell was musky and sweet, almost familiar, like the smell of that bed, or maybe a remembered smell from that night. He licked his lips and tasted leather. He wanted to spit the taste out, replace it with something like that smell.

“You are a  _ bad  _ angel.” Beelzebub grinned. “Look at that luzztful exprezzzion on your face…” The demon peered down at Gabriel’s trousers. Nothing. Still a cockless angel. Well, that wouldn’t do. “Turn around.”

Gabriel couldn’t hide the frown that turned his lips, but he acquiesced. He wanted to give Beelzebub anything they wanted. He wanted to earn their praise. Beelzebub pulled his jacket off sharply, and Gabriel pulled his arms from it. The demon tugged at his tie, pulling it over his collar so it rested against his skin. Then, Gabriel felt Beelzebub’s arms around him. He shuddered and took in a trembling breath. His eyelids fluttered as the demon’s feathery black hair brushed against his ear.

Beelzebub stretched their arms down to Gabriel’s belt, undoing the buckle. “I want you to be a very bad angel,” they buzzed against Gabriel’s ear. They pulled the belt free sharply and tossed it aside. One of their hands smoothed over his sexless groin while the other dragged over his chest. 

Gabriel was on fire. He felt himself sweating in his clothes and wanted nothing more than to tear them off, but he feared if he did that he really would burn. Beelzebub’s touch was like hellfire. He craved it like nothing else.

“Zzhow me that big cock.” Beelzebub pressed the heel of their palm between Gabriel’s legs. They watched with bated breath as Gabriel’s lips parted, his chest rising and falling more quickly under their hand. “You’ve done it before,” they lied. “Be a bad angel for me…”

Gabriel heard himself moan, but had no idea where the sound had come from. He pressed into Beelzebub’s touch, hips lifted instinctively. It felt  _ so  _ good to be touched. His breath caught as Beelzebub’s fingers touched his bare neck. Beelzebub wanted  _ this  _ from him. They’d requested it just  _ for them. _ Gabriel would do anything--anything--to keep Beelzebub feeling so good--making him feel so good.

His hands found Beelzebub’s arms around him, and he strained to push those hands closer to his flesh. His body arched toward the touch, and he felt something growing under Beelzebub palm against his groin. The sensation was so intense he had to pull back with a sharp groan.

“Yezzz…” Beelzebub encouraged. Holy shit. They actually made Gabriel corporate a cock. For  _ this.  _ For their own depraved fantasy. They were practically salivating. “That’zz good,” they whispered.

Gabriel felt his breath coming faster. “O-oh, God…” he hissed. He managed to open his eyes and look down. He saw a new aspect to his form. Something that felt so good to be touched, something Beelzebub was already kneading expertly through the fabric.

“No. None of that here.” Beelzebub corrected him. “Say ‘thank you, Ba’al.’” Beelzebub ran their tongue along the shell of Gabriel’s ear.

Gabriel moaned and gripped Beelzebub’s arms tighter in his strong grip. “Thank you, B-Ba’al,” he groaned and shuddered.

Beelzebub suddenly lifted their hands away and brushed aside Gabriel’s arms. The angel went limp--except for his straining cock and heaving chest. The demon brought their hands to Gabriel’s throat and began to unbutton his shirt. The time they took with this task only seemed to make Gabriel more desperate. Slowly, Beelzebub revealed Gabriel’s perfectly chiseled chest. They couldn’t help but stare. Even Adonis would have stared.

Gabriel shrugged off his shirt, though his tie still hung around his neck. The whisper of silk against his bare skin made him shiver. He looked at Beelzebub out of the corner of his eye. Beelzebub looked  _ very  _ pleased. He smiled through heavy breaths.

Beelzebub stroked the silk tie against his bare chest. Gabriel felt the scratch of nails as the demon took hold of it and tugged him sideways. He was whipped around against to face Beelzebub, and now, the demon was naked but for the barely-there net on their torso and their feet. Gabriel was stunned. The prince exuded such power in glittering black eyes and pale, naked flesh. Their cock stood proud, and below it glistened a rich purple-rose vulva dripping onto the bed.

“I want you undrezzed,” Beelzebub told him. “While you pay homage to your Ba’al.”

Gabriel’s eyes dragged slowly over every inch of the prince. He would gladly give whatever they wanted. His love was so strong, he was overcome with desire. That intoxicating scent flooded his senses. Needing no encouragement from Beelzebub, he was drawn toward the dripping flower between the demon’s legs.

Beelzebub ran their fingers into Gabriel’s hair. Their thighs twitched and stomach sucked in as they felt the angel’s breath against trembling flesh. Beelzebub stopped Gabriel short with a tug at his hair, sucking in a breath through their nose. “Say ‘please, Ba’al,’” they breathed.

Gabriel looked up at the prince. “Please, Ba’al,” he begged in earnest baritone.

Beelzebub found those honest purple eyes impossible to resist. They wanted to make Gabriel  _ really  _ beg for it, but they couldn’t wait any longer. The demon pulled Gabriel’s face between their thighs and gasped as they felt his soft lips yield. Without any instruction, Gabriel’s tongue lapped at their highly aroused cunt. Beelzebub had to bite their lip to keep from crying out. Instead, a muffled groan escaped their throat. Fuck, they had not been expecting the archangel Gabriel to be so good with his mouth. For being a virginal little angel, he was a sexual force to be reckoned with.

Gabriel pressed eagerly against Beelzebub’s arousal. He had hungered for any touch, any inch of skin he was allowed to touch--but he had hungered most of all for this. The smell filled him, but the taste was even better. He licked up the slick that had smeared between their thighs, then discovered their was more to be had deeper within.

Beelzebub shuddered and pulled at Gabriel’s hair. “Yezz…” Their chest heaved. “Fuck me with your tongue. Nngg… deeper.”

Gabriel could not forget about getting undressed. His cock ached, straining against his trousers. He fumbled blindly at his fly as he devoured the prince. His trousers and briefs ended up tangled around his ankles, trapped by his loafers. All that was significantly more difficult to remove without taking his attention away from his prince. His broad hands instead favored Beelzebub’s creamy thighs, squeezing the slender limbs.

And just like that, Beelzebub sharply tore him back by his hair and away from what he had so desperately wanted. The demon planted a foot on Gabriel’s shoulder and kicked him onto his back. “Did I zzay you could touch me there?” they asked in a low voice.

Gabriel was taken aback. He thought… he’d been pleasing Beelzebub. He’d heard those sounds of lustful ecstasy. Surely he should pursue that--give Beelzebub  _ more  _ of that. “... No,” he said quietly.

“No, what?” Beelzebub leaned over him from the edge of the bed. Their shadow seemed to grow, like a dark, otherworldly presence.

“No, Ba’al,” Gabriel said. “But--”

“Zztop.” Beelzebub got to their feet. Gabriel could see their thighs were dripping from his ministrations. The prince’s face was flush, but their eyes were cold. “Get on your handzz and kneezz.”

Gabriel frowned. He’d been doing so good. He turned over and planted his hands and knees under him. His cock was still painfully hard, and now hung free between his legs.

Beelzebub preened over the pose, made all the more humiliating by the trousers still tangled around his ankles. Without Gabriel watching, they grinned. The prince walked slowly around Gabriel, admiring his tanned, perfectly built form. Gabriel could only watch as Beelzebub’s netted feet circled him like a shark.

Finally, Beelzebub bent down to gather the tie dangling from the angel’s neck. It slid around his throat as Beelzebub walked toward his feet. The demon then perched their slight frame on Gabriel’s rear. They toyed with the silk, tugging at it, then lifted one of their legs to plant a foot at the base of Gabriel’s skull. They were so much smaller than Gabriel that it was easy to sit on him like he was a piece of furniture. With a shove of their foot, Beelzebub forced Gabriel’s head and shoulder to the ground. He grunted from the impact.

“I know you’re new to thizz,” Beelzebub said in a forgiving tone. “But you wanted to zee what I like.” Beelzebub rubbed their foot against the back of Gabriel’s head, relishing in his soft hair against their nearly-bare feet. “Thizz is what I like,” they buzzed intimately as they moved the tie this way and that.

Gabriel turned his head so his face wasn’t crushed against the carpet. He could see Beelzebub perched as if on a throne over his shoulder. He felt like he had failed his prince’s desires, like he was powerless. It was an utterly new feeling to him. He was God’s finest creation. Nothing could best him or make him feel lesser. To experience that was... exhilarating. 

Beelzebub ran their fingers along Gabriel’s hip and across his ass. So taut and muscular. Every inch of Gabriel was strong. Their fingers crept lower, over one slash of the V of his pelvis. “It zeemzz like you like it, too…” They wrapped their fingers around Gabriel’s cock and it jumped in their hand. He moaned into the carpet loudly. “You do like it, don’t you?” Beelzebub purred.

Gabriel panted and dug his fingers into the carpet. He desperately wanted to move, to writhe and both escape that hand and thrust into it, but he didn’t want to unseat his prince, so he forced himself into stillness. That only made the slow pressure of Beelzebub’s delicate hand on his cock more unbearable. “I-I do,” he gasped. “I do like it, Ba’al.”

This was far better than he expected. Beelzebub would have thought Gabriel was a prude. But one little suggestion had broken his vow of chastity, and he was a right whore. They squeezed Gabriel’s cock tighter and felt the muscles contract underneath them. The archangel was struggling not to let him fall off. Good boy.

“Izz thizz what you wanted when you called me?” Beelzebub asked. It was an honest question. They still couldn’t fathom what had made Gabriel call them. Could it really have been for another hook up?

“I… I wanted t-to… give you s-something…” Gabriel’s words were muffled from the way he was forcibly pressed to the floor. “To show you… how I feel…” He gasped and tore at the carpet, every muscle in his legs shaking with strain.

“Oh?” Beelzebub was having too much fun with the game. They tightened their grip on the tie still wrapped around their fist, tugged until they heard him choke. The demon continued pumping Gabriel’s cock. They grew wetter, pearls of precum beading down their cock, as Gabriel choked and mewled in pleasure. The angel’s fingers grasped at the tie pulled tight around his neck.

“Almost there,” Beelzebub promised him. The angel would have to be stupid to actually suffocate--it wasn’t like his pure form needed oxygen. But the human form could be deprived of air. It  _ could  _ discorporate him. But Beelzebub was going to give him a little death in another way.

Gabriel’s vision was spotty, but the pleasure was so intense. It really was hellfire. He was being consumed by the most exquisite flame of ecstasy. Just when he thought he would discorporate, something released inside him. The climax of it felt like a thousand thousand choruses of angels singing, and the beautiful song of demons roasting in righteous damnation, and the glory of flying all rolled into one. He gasped for breath that would not come and it took him higher. It wasn’t the lack of air that he thought would discorporate him, but the fire and exaltation of his flesh.

When he felt his senses return to him, he wasn’t sure how long he had been in that trembling, shaking, moaning, crying Heaven. He was no longer being choked or serving as a throne for his prince, but on his side on the floor. Beelzebub was sitting on the bed, watching him, slowly stroking themself.

“Wh-what… did you do to me?” The words felt thick in his mouth and his eyelids were heavy.

“What I wanted to.” Beelzebub beckoned Gabriel toward the bed once more. If he could survive that and still want more, he was really and truly corrupted.

Gabriel struggled to make sense of the world as he basked in an afterglow that rivaled his first minutes of Creation. Beelzebub voice was something familiar to latch onto. And it sounded like praise. Beelzebub  _ wanted  _ to make him feel that? He slowly dragged himself up and shuffled the few feet back to the bed. His body was loose and relaxed, arms heavy and shoulders curled.

Beelzebub stroked his hair, and Gabriel leaned into the touch with eyes closed. The archangel had looked so glorious with his neck red and straining, his entire body tight as a bow string, his cock throbbing desperately for their touch, and coming, desperately trying to breathe, his face contorted with untold ecstasy. Now, blissfully intoxicated with newfound pleasures, softly leaning into their touch--he was kind of beautiful that way, too.

“Now… zzhow me how grateful you are.” Beelzebub’s dark eyes glittered with invitation.

“Yes, Ba’al,” Gabriel said with a warm smile. He leaned forward, but Beelzebub stopped him stop.

“Give me your hand,” they said. Gabriel offered his right hand. Beelzebub brought the hand against their dripping cunt with a soft exhale. Just those firm, broad fingers against their lips were enough to make their thighs twitch. “You may,” their voice almost shook, “put your fingers inside me…” Beelzebub turned Gabriel’s hand, guiding his finger past the slippery folds. They bit their lip.

Gabriel watched with wonder as his finger slid deeper and deeper. It just seemed to get wetter and hotter the deeper he went, and he was lucid enough to notice the way Beelzebub’s stomach muscles trembled. He curled his finger experimentally, pressing against the boundaries of the soft, slick flesh and felt it constrict around him. His eyes darted up to Beelzebub’s face, and he found that he’d done something right.

“Yezz…” Beelzebub breathed. They cupped Gabriel’s skull and brought him closer to their weeping cock. “Zzuck my cock, archangel, and fuck me with your fingerzz. Zzhow me how grateful you are.”

Gabriel felt truly blessed to be given this task. He wanted nothing more than to touch Beelzebub and bring them to the same heights he had experienced. Could that be possible? Was he capable of doing what Beelzebub had done to him?

He didn’t really know what to do with a cock, but Beelzebub seemed to enjoy him doing things with his mouth. Seemed reasonable. He pressed his lips against the flush member, noting the streaks of slick that striped it. Reasoning that it had to be as good as the wetness below, he ran his tongue along the streak, earning hum of pleasure from the prince. His finger pressed deeper, rubbing circles inside them. Beelzebub’s fingers rubbed and scraped through his hair, urging him on. He swiped past the wet tip of their cock and was rewarded with a gasp. Experimenting further, he found that wrapping his lips around that trembling tip brought Beelzebub to push his head down the shaft. It was a strange procedure, but seemed to make Beelzebub happy.

When Beelzebub asked for more, Gabriel took them deeper in his mouth. When they still demanded more, he tried pressing another finger inside them. It felt so tight, he was afraid it would not go, but miraculously, it yielded. Beelzebub seemed to really like this. He could taste more and more of that delicious lust dripping from their cock, feel his fingers and knuckles soaked in their desire. His heart sang to hear Beelzebub no longer grunting and muffling their moans, but letting him hear their ecstasy.

The demon prince tore at his hair and thrust their hips wildly as they climaxed, groaning hungrily. Gabriel choked on their cock as spend rocketed down his throat, and his fingers stopped in the vice-like spasms of their cunt.

“Don’t zztop!” Beelzebub growled, a thread of desperate need in their voice.

Gabriel lifted his gaze to watch as the prince arched off the bed, kneading at their small breasts, hips writhing against him. He kept doing what had seemed to be bringing them so much pleasure, twisting and thrusting his fingers inside them, riding their cock with his mouth, until the prince finally stilled him.

Beelzebub lay still, legs finally gone limp over the edge of the bed, narrow chest rising and falling in deep breaths. Gabriel looked at his soaked hand, then at the prince, and smiled. He may have failed at giving the gift he thought would make Beelzebub happy, but he was pretty sure he’d made up for it.

While Beelzebub was catching their breath, Gabriel finally finished removing the rest of his clothes. He crept slowly onto the bed so as not to disturb the demon prince, and laid on his side beside them. He left a few inches between them--Beelzebub had made it clear that they did not accept being touched without permission--but he could still feel the warmth radiating off their body.

Beelzebub slowly rocked their head toward Gabriel and cracked one eye open. “What are you doing?” they asked quietly.

“Lying with you. Like we did the last time.” His purple eyes were utterly soft on the prince. He folded his muscular arm and lay his head down.

Beelzebub scowled. “No.” They didn’t feel like moving, but they certainly did not feel like lying beside the archangel Gabriel when they felt so damn good. Whosoever delivered the pleasure be damned.

Gabriel frowned. “No?”

“No.” Beelzebub shut their eyes. “Get lozzt.”

Gabriel’s handsome face creased in confusion. “What does that mean?”

“It meanzz get out!” Beelzebub snapped. “I don’t need you here anymore.” They liked to have their game, get off, and be done. They had no need for a warm body, even one as handsome as Gabriel’s, once the deed was done. They wanted to bask in this great orgasm  _ alone. _

Gabriel opened his mouth to say something, but he had no idea what to say. He just wanted to make Beelzebub happy. Leaving right now did not make  _ him  _ happy, but if it made  _ them  _ happy… Well, that was part of the gift, wasn’t it?

The bed creaked as Gabriel sat up. The glow of orgasm had left him, and now his muscles ached, his head felt fuzzy, and he was cold. It was pretty low after such a great high. He stood up and started to put his clothes back on. Slowly. He hoped Beelzebub would change their mind. He kept glancing back at them. But they were impassive. Possibly even sleeping.

He finished lacing his shoes, then shrugged on his coat. He wanted to tell them how much he loved them He wanted to tell them that tonight had proved that. He wanted to kiss them. But he was afraid Beelzebub didn’t feel the same way. Not yet.

He couldn’t give up. It was just his first try. Maybe this wasn’t Beelzebub’s love language. He crossed “gift giving” off the list.


	5. Imagine That You're There With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a surprisingly satisfying night with Gabriel, Beelzebub attempts to distract themself by getting back on their good ol' fashioned bullshit: dressing up as a nun and tempting young, virile priests.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from ["I Go To Sleep"](https://open.spotify.com/track/0iyLMDvA9WpsSwzE8FURop) by Anika.

Restlessness suited Beelzebub about as well as a straitjacket. Hell often made them feel restless--that was part of the point. It wasn’t meant to be comfortable in Hell. There was always something to do, of course, but that was part of the restlessness. Too much to do, too many little annoying tasks to ever bask in the feeling of accomplishment. Paperwork. Oversight. Boring managerial bureaucracy. Most of that could be funneled through Dagon, who seemed to take great pleasure in asking them to sign off on this or that.

Beelzebub had a new curse. A new source of punishment, as far as they were concerned. Gabriel. This fucking archangel. They thought they had made it perfectly clear that they didn’t expect anything. In fact, they had been quite sure that Gabriel would never dare call him again after the things they did to him.

But the angel called. Again and again. Beelzebub had answered the first time, and upon hearing that warm, angelic voice, immediately hung up. The next day, he called again. Beelzebub made a point not to be in their office. When Dagon tried to bring the call to their attention, the prince of Hell gave him such an earful that he didn’t dare even acknowledge that there was a phone ringing afterward.

To make matters worse, Beelzebub could not brush off the encounter. It played in their mind’s eye at the most inconvenient times. In the midst of a tour of the Halls of Torture, Gabriel’s strangled full-body orgasm would replay. The arousal that pooled between their legs would so distract them that Dagon had to snap them back to reality. Beelzebub’s recollections would so thoroughly drown out the world that their usual court sessions became impossible.

The worst part was that they _ had _enjoyed that night. Gabriel’s voice at first hesitant to call them ‘Ba’al’... by the end, speaking it like a prayer. His body so pliable and willing. Corporating a cock just for their desire… Fuck. They got off to it more times than they cared to count. But it was stupid. They felt miserable afterward. Some kind of fucked up shame that came from wanting that humiliated angel.

“I’m going to Earth for a while. On buzzinezz,” Beelzebub told Dagon.

“But why, sir?” Dagon asked, wringing his hands in that placating way that used to bring Beelzebub pleasure.

“Don’t worry about it,” Beelzebub sneered.

“Are you displeased with the work being done? I could have a talk with the demons. You know Hastur has been… off, ever since Ligur…”

“Is it so unbelievable that I want to get my handzz dirty every millennia or so?” Beelzebub asked with a nasty smile.

“O-of course not, sir. I only--”

“Zzhut it. I’ll be back in a few weeks.”

Back to the old business. That would make them feel better. Just a little tour on Earth, a few of their favorite temptations. A vacation, really, from the tedium of Hell. Something to take their mind off things.

In the old days, tempting a priest was a tricky business. The priests and canons were hardly outside of their consecrated churches and convents; men of the cloth untouchable in their high belfrys. Only the ones who wandered outside their holy walls could be snared.

These days, as with many modern conveniences and leniencies, it was much simpler. There were convents that had all the trappings of a religious house, but none of the holy dedication. No special paths or demonic miracles necessary to sneak inside, just a sweet demeanor and willingness to swear to simple vows.

Beelzebub cased a modern little convent in Germany. It was in an old church, but the blessed founding stone had long since been destroyed and replaced with a much lesser-blessed one. The demon so enjoyed performing temptations on what had once been consecrated ground. Gave the work that extra little thrill.

Infiltrating the church took almost no time at all. The faith was desperate for converts, and more so for those willing to take vows and wear the cloth. There had been all sorts of elaborate schemes and tricks in the old days. Now it was quite straightforward.

Tempting priests was old hat to Beelzebub. For centuries, they had perfected the art of singling out one of the young men with doubts already seeded in their minds. Old priests could be tempted, but they weren’t nearly as fun. Or virile. One could tempt a priest without sex, but where was the fun in that?

“Father Ethan? Could I…?”

“Oh, Sister... Lilith, was it? Well, hello.” The priest looked up from the altar. The other sisters were filing out of the room as Mother Superior nodded at them like a mother hen.

“Yes, it is.” Beelzebub painted their young face with gratitude to be recognized. “I’m sorry to bother you, Father, but…” Beelzebub brushed fingers past their cheek where a tiny curl of dark hair peeked out from their habit. A little temptation of its own.

“No bother at all. You’re new to the order. A lot of questions, I’m sure.”

Beelzebub’s eyes shone as if Father Ethan was the only person in the world who understood them. “Yes…” they sighed gratefully. “So many questions, and…” They shrank back.

“There is no question too great or small, Sister.”

“Well, I… I was hoping I could speak to you in private?”

Father Ethan paused in shuffling his papers and glanced at the Mother Superior. He smiled in apology. “Well, Sister, I’m afraid that’s not allowed. It could be deemed… inappropriate for a young Sister such as yourself to be in private with… a priest.” He cleared his throat. “If it’s confession that you seek, I’m sure--”

“No, nothing so dire as that!” Beelzebub insisted and reached out to touch Ethan’s hand. “_ Please, _Father. It’s important…”

Ethan looked at the delicate, lily white hand that touched his own, then at the precious dark eyes that implored him. The new Sisters were so often overwhelmed with all the changes in their life, and sometimes had come from quite terrible pasts. “Is it… not something you could speak to Mother Superior about?”

Beelzebub’s cheeks colored. “Oh, no. I’m afraid… I’m afraid she would send me away. I don’t think she likes me very much already…”

“I’m sure that’s not true.” Ethan smiled, his eyes again darting to the watchful Mother Superior. “But… if you need to speak with me in private,” he lowered his voice, “meet me in the northern rectory at five. I’ll be leaving then, and I can speak with you before I go.”

“Oh, thank you, Father.” Beelzebub looked relieved, practically tears in their eyes. “I’m so grateful. Thank you.” With a flurry of black robes, Beelzebub turned and trotted down the aisle. After a look from Mother Superior, Beelzebub affected embarrassment and slowed their gait to something more suitable for a young sister of the cloth.

“Sister.” Ethan turned as Sister Lilith hurried into the room looking harried. “What is the matter?”

“I was afraid someone might follow me. I wouldn’t want to get you into trouble,” Beelzebub insisted as they rushed toward Ethan and took one of his hands in earnest. The man was blond and fair of face, narrow in the jaw and the shoulders. Beelzebub found themself wishing men of the cloth would worship the temple of their body a bit more. This man was nearly as thin as themself, albeit taller. And could be more tan. And with brown hair. A better smile…

Was it Gabriel again in his mind’s eye? Goddammit.

“It’s alright, Sister,” Ethan assured them, patting the hand wrapped around his own. “I understand your concern. But your personal troubles as just as important.”

“Thank you, Father.” Beelzebub sighed in relief. “Do you mind if I take off my…?” They gestured to the wimple that covered their hair.

“Oh, I…” Ethan hesitated. He saw the worried flicker of Sister Lilith’s eyes, a fear almost as if she had been struck. “Of course not. Go ahead.”

Beelzebub put on a quick smile. “Thank you. They’re so hot!” The demon in disguise removed the cloth to reveal short, sweat-curled hair, a sweet, round face, and pale, uncovered throat.

“Now, I can’t stay much later. What is it that’s troubling you?” Ethan asked.

Beelzebub lowered their gaze and toyed with their fingers in girlish indecision. “Oh, I… oh, Father, it’s so stupid.” They turned dark, sweet eyes on the priest. “I only just took my vows, and…” They sighed and stepped forward. “I… feel something… inside me…”

Father Ethan listened intently. “What is it that you feel, Sister Lilith? There’s no need to be worried if you have doubts. Taking even the simple vows is no simple…” he trailed off. Sister Lilith stood right before him. Much too close to him.

“I think… I think the devil is inside me, Father,” Beelzebub whispered, fear laced with temptingly parted lips and ponderous eyes.

“Why… why do you think that?” he asked quietly.

“I can’t stop thinking about it. How much…” Beelzebub raised a hand, forced it to hesitate, and then gently touched Father Ethan’s chest. “... I want a man.”

“Sister, you’ve taken the simple vows. That doesn’t include chastity, I--” Ethan took Sister Lilith’s hand by the wrist and moved it away.

“But I want this!” Beelzebub gasped in Sister Lilith’s sweet voice. Their cheeks flushed. “I-I mean, I want… I want to be a good sister. A good nun, someday…” Beelzebub turned their sweet face away, as if ashamed. 

“You can be strong, Sister.” Ethan swallowed the lump in his throat. Sister Lilith was a precious girl, probably fresh off the street. Just what sort of woman had she been before, he wondered. Did she know the touch of a man? Had she been hurt by it? Why did the devil tempt her so, after she had sworn herself?

He had never known the touch of a woman, never felt the heat of carnal embrace. He had only rarely been _ this _close to a woman. She smelled sweet. And tart. Like cherries, or… cranberries. The dusting of her shy eyelashes against rose-flush cheeks, the softness of her wrist in his hand… He could be strong. Couldn’t he?

“I don’t know that I can…” Beelzebub whimpered. “But you…” They turned to look up at Ethan. “Father, only you can get this devil out of me…” Beelzebub closed the inch between them, pressing themself against his chest. “Please, Father. Oh, please.”

“N-no, I can’t. Sister, perhaps…”

“You’re a man of God!” Beelzebub begged. “Only you can make me clean.” They put their arms delicately around his neck. They lamented that his shoulders were so scrawny and narrow, that those fearful eyes were so plain and brown. “Please…” They lifted their chin, offering cherry-red lips.

Those words struck Ethan right to the core. He had never thought he could cleanse a sinner in such a way. But surely it was his duty--otherwise Sister Lilith might return to the street and God knows what kind of lifestyle. If he could turn her to the path of righteousness with this one act--he would save her soul.

Ethan brought his hand to Lilith’s cheek, and she pressed against it gratefully. Then, slowly, he kissed her. The spark ripped him apart, tore something inside him. She consumed him with passion, kissed him with such a hunger he thought she might devour him.

“Only you can make me pure again,” Beelzebub told the priest between messy kisses. They found the desk and hiked up their habit to expose slender thighs. That was all the temptation it took for Ethan’s hands to find them. He moaned at the sensation of soft skin, pushing the robe further up.

“I-I’ll heal this devil inside you,” he husked, but his mind was far away from anything holy. In a matter of moments and scrambling hands, his fly was open and Sister Lilith’s panties were hung on one ankle. He saw God when he thrust inside the sister’s sinful body. He felt powerful as she mewled beneath him and begged him for more. He kissed her pale neck and raked his hands over her covered breasts like a wild animal.

Beelzebub relished the corruption of his soul. It hadn’t taken much. His soul had been tarnished before this moment. An easy mark. But it felt good to have a man of the cloth fucking them with such abandon. The priest may have felt powerful, but it was an illusion of power. Still, Beelzebub was left unsatisfied. Not only did the priest not last long enough to make them climax, but Beelzebub couldn’t blow their cover and take what they wanted from him. His immortal soul and eternal guilt would have to suffice.

“Thank you, Father,” Beelzebub panted as Ethan lay collapsed on top of them. “I’m sure God will forgive you,” they said sweetly, running fingers through his hair.

Ethan was suddenly wracked with doubt. His sweat ran cold at those words. He sat up and studied Lilith’s face. She was so beautiful. Flush and wanton, little tendrils of dark hair clinging to her temples and the pale columns of her neck. He had done the right thing, hadn’t he? There was a darkness in her eyes that made his mouth dry.

“What have I done?” he breathed and withdrew, staring in horror at the ravaged sister on the desk.

“You helped me, Father…” Beelzebub purred and slowly sat up, habit still tangled up around their hips. “And it felt _ so _good…” One pale hand went between spread thighs, rubbing the aroused flesh against the dark cloth of the habit.

Ethan was panicked. He quickly straightened himself, hands shaking so badly it took a full minute to fix his fly and belt, shirt poorly tucked. “I-I have to go.”

“I won’t forget this,” Beelzebub whispered dreamily. _ And neither will God. _


	6. The Only Spirit That I Crave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While tempting priests at a convent in Germany, Beelzebub is disgruntled to realize the new priest is none other than the Archangel fucking Gabriel. Gabriel tries another love language to win the heart of his beloved prince of Hell: words of affirmation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is from ["Black Water"](https://open.spotify.com/track/470qwbnZGjoDgf45d3y5EV) by Timber Timbre.

Father Ethan was gone the following day. Transferred to another convent--to another continent, some said. The pleasure of a job well done lingered with Beelzebub. Perhaps this vacation would get their mind off things, after all. It had been plenty of fun, they kept telling themself. The real climax was the realization of eternal damnation.

Beelzebub resolutely ignored the gnawing hunger still eating away at their insides. So what if they hadn’t been satisfied? It was only the first. There would be plenty more.

Still, impatience drove them to seek out Father Ethan’s replacement before his first lecture. Might as well get a jump on it before any rumors began to circulate. Perhaps this time they would draw things out… Or not. Beelzebub had never been an especially patient being.

They adjusted their habit, ensuring that little tempting curl graced their cheek, and knocked on the door of the cloister beside the chapel.

“Come in.”

Little Sister Lilith gently opened the door. “Father John?”  _ Real original _ , Beelzebub thought. “I don’t mean to disturb you before the sermon.” The demon crept up to where Father John sat at his desk making final adjustments to his lecture and placed a delicate hand on his shoulder. “Only I wanted to welcome you to our convent. I’m sure--”

Father John turned in his chair and sat back with easy repose and a familiar grin on his lips.

Beelzebub’s face fell. “You,” they growled. Goddamn fucking Archangel Gabriel, trussed up like some ordinary priest; all black, white collar, but for his signature purple vestment sash.

“Hi.” Gabriel smiled, so glad to see his beloved.

“What the fuck are _you _doing here?” Surprise and anger roiled in their gut. How could Gabriel be here? At _this _convent?  
“_You’ve _been dodging my calls,” Gabriel pointed out. “I _heard _some nasty hellion has been going around tempting priests, and… well, that’s just your brand, isn’t it?”

Of course Beelzebub on Earth would not go unnoticed. They just hadn’t thought it would summon Gabriel down to thwart him. Stupid.

“I know this is just your way of calling me back,” Gabriel said with confidence. “If our next date works better on your schedule, that’s fine by me,” he offered. With a small wave of his hand, he ensured the door was shut and locked. 

Beelzebub glanced at it, then looked warily at Gabriel as the angel stood and loomed over him.

“It’s good to see you again,” Gabriel said fondly. His lavender eyes flitted over the white veil and the black smock of Beelzebub’s habit. His nose wrinkled as he grinned. “You look so cute.”

“Zztop,” Beelzebub growled.

“Never would have imagined you would wear a habit so well…” He adjusted the drape of the veil with a soft touch.

“Zzhut it.” Beelzebub closed their eyes, irritated.

“You’ve got a little…” Gabriel murmured as he brushed the tiny curl against Beelzebub’s cheek.

Beelzebub’s eyes flew open and they batted Gabriel’s hand away with a mean look.

“Oh.” Gabriel didn’t even flinch. “ _ Oh,  _ that’s the look, is it?” He chuckled. “You  _ are  _ wily, aren’t you?”

Beelzebub felt their face grow hot utterly on its own accord. Not at all because of Gabriel’s charm, or that neverending smile, or how fucking perfectly he filled out his priest blacks, or the little touch to their cheek.

“Why are you here?” Beelzebub growled.

“I wanted to see you,” Gabriel said simply. “I....” The angel’s lips tugged into a lop-sided smirk as he leaned toward Beelzebub, cupping his hand to whisper in their ear. “I didn’t get to thank you. For showing me what you like.” His voice was low and intimate in a way that made Beelzebub’s skin crawl. Not altogether unpleasantly. Then, he straightened himself and was back to his usual self. “Very educational.”

What  _ was  _ this? Why wouldn’t Gabriel stop? Why had he got it in his head that he needed to thank them for anything? Beelzebub turned a confused glare on Gabriel. “And in what form will this thank you take? Another boring sex show? Oh, maybe a rock and roll concert this time? Knowing you, it’ll be something even more zztupid. Gift basket?”

“No, I have something planned. Just for you.” Gabriel beamed.

That made Beelzebub even more nervous. They couldn’t trust Gabriel.  _ Couldn’t. _ But angels were too stupid to play the long game. They didn’t do schemes - they did smitings. What was Gabriel playing at?

“Fuck off. I don’t want your… thanks. For anything.”

Gabriel’s smile turned pleading. “Please? If you don’t like it,” he drew in a deep breath and sighed, “that’s alright.”

Beelzebub hated how honest Gabriel’s expressions were. “What izz it?”

“It’s a surprise, silly.”

“I don’t like surprizes.”

Gabriel looked disappointed. He sighed again. “Fine.” He took Beelzebub by the waist and lifted them as easily as if they were a stack of paperwork. The demon froze, flailed, and found themself seated on the desk, not unlike they had done to tempt Father Ethan. Gabriel planted his hands on either side of Beelzebub’s thighs and leaned in close by the demon’s ear.

“I’ll give you a little preview.” His voice was strong in Beelzebub’s ear, not the uncertain voice of the virginal archangel. Beelzebub suppressed a little shiver. “I’m going to tell you how I feel.” Gabriel dipped his head and kissed Beelzebub’s neck through the cloth of his habit. “How you make me feel.” His hand skated over Beelzebub’s covered thigh, broad thumb smoothing over the inward curve. “So there’s no question.”

Beelzebub’s nerves were on fire and their head was filled with curses. Gabriel had never used his bulk against them before, never been in this dominant position so intimately. But Beelzebub had imagined it. Not as a form of domination, but just that deliciously strong frame over theirs. Those large, begging-to-touch hands being given permission, what they might do to them. They noticed a smell that they had missed--warm vanilla musk that had permeated their flesh after their last encounter. The words didn’t even register. Their body was powerless to the draw they had tried so hard to ignore.

A knock at the door ruined everything.

“Father John? The sisters are ready in the chapel when you’re prepared.”

Gabriel leaned back from “Sister Lilith” and smiled over his shoulder. “I’ll be right out, Mother Superior,” he said cheerfully.

Beelzebub was stunned the way Gabriel’s tone turned on a dime.

“What’re you smiling about?” Gabriel whispered when he turned back to see Beelzebub smirking.

“Nothing…” they muttered.

“So…” Gabriel peered at the demon in a habit. “Is it a date?”

“Mmm…” Beelzebub buzzed. “I’m not convinced.”

Gabriel looked doubtful. “Oh, I think you are.” Beelzebub challenged him with a look. Gabriel leaned in close to whisper in their ear. “I know that smell.”

Beelzebub flushed and stiffened.

Gabriel pushed back from the desk and offered his hand to help the small demon off of it. “Now, I have a sermon to perform!” He was giddy. Beelzebub’s head was spinning so much, they actually took Gabriel’s hand and let him help them down. “I haven’t done a sermon in… oh, must be thousands of years.” He sighed, nostalgic.

Beelzebub straightened their habit and looked balefully up at Gabriel.

“And you’ll be listening,” he said sweetly. “Thinking of me, I hope.”

The prince of Hell refused to acknowledge that remark. Where did Gabriel get off, thinking he knew everything now? Beelzebub could stand him even less like this. They snorted dismissively as they walked over to the door. After a pause to make sure no one was watching, Beelzebub slipped out of the cloistered office.

Gabriel watched them go with a fond look, then straightened up his papers and exited the office in the opposite direction.

The sermon was not what Beelzebub expected. It was not what any of the sisters or the Mother Superior had expected. The handsome new priest took to the stage with an angel’s smile. More than one of the sisters swooned quietly. Beelzebub could see the darkness creeping over their hearts with lust and desire.

It started in typical fashion, speaking of the glory of God and the blessing of Heaven. He spoke of himself, the angel Gabriel, delivering the word to Mary and also to Zacharias of the miraculous children of God that would be born to them.

Beelzebub sneered privately,  _ Vanity is a sin, Archangel… _

“On this day, sisters, I will not speak on the things you already know so well. You know well the light and the truth of our Lord,” Gabriel said softly. “Instead, today we must focus on the enemy of our will!” His voice rose as he gripped the podium. “Today we will speak of the devils and demons that tempt our hearts.

“You know the name of Satan, the name of Lucifer who Fell from the greatest height, who was loved dearly by Heaven… But there is a name that many dare not speak…” Gabriel’s eyes scanned the pews of sisters sitting so piously, then landed upon the prince of Hell among them. “Beelzebub.”

Beelzebub stiffened, their eyes going wide. Gabriel smiled, then slowly dragged their gaze away to look over the congregation.

“Yea, Beelzebub. Beelzebub. The very name puts a tremor in the blood. Some say it is yet another name for the devil himself, but no. Beelzebub is a greater threat to the purity of your Christian heart. For they are the hand,” Gabriel lifted one broad hand, then clenched it, “that acts on the will and whims of Satan.”

Beelzebub could feel a shiver move through the pews. The shiver took their thighs, pooled between their legs.

“The crooked Pharisees accused Jesus, our own savior, of using the powers of of this Prince of Hell to heal the sick.” Gabriel chuckled. “But we see in 2 Kings that when King Ahaziah prayed to Beelzebub, then the god of the damned city of Ekron, that his injuries would be healed, an angel of the Lord,” Gabriel paused with a look of radiant bliss, “turned the messengers away with scorn. For the angel said, “I s it because there is no God in Israel, that you go to inquire of Beelzebub, the god of Ekron? Therefore, so has the Lord said, "From the bed upon which you have ascended you will not descend, for you shall die." He died a sinner.”

Beelzebub wondered how close Gabriel had come to that glorious city of sin. Loyalty was merely the sustenance of the time, and Beelzebub had glutted themself on the faith of that city. The memory brought a twist of pleasure to their lips.

“Beelzebub is with us today. Oh, yes.” Gabriel looked out over the congregation. “They are on televisions screens and in written words--pornography and smut-rags trumped up as “romance.” There is no romance with Beelzebub. Only sin. Lust. Indulgence. Sodomy.”

The demon felt a flush crawling up from under their too-warm habit as the highest of angels spoke such words before a gathering of innocent sisters.

“Beelzebub has corrupted our friends, our family, even our priests, and teachers. Beelzebub does not heed the faithful. They are unafraid of the holy.”

What was he  _ doing? _ Beelzebub felt like they were burning up in their habit. Was this an exorcism? Was this Gabriel’s plan, to burn them in this almost-sacrosanct place? 

But no. It wasn’t his voice pitched in holy tones that was burning them alive. It was something else. A pit of heat that had started when Gabriel had pinned them against that desk, now creeping over their body covered only by simple cloth. The holiest of angels stood there before a crowd of believers and shouted the greatest accomplishments Beelzebub had performed. The sisters cowered in fear. Beelzebub trembled with desire.

How could Gabriel do this to them? He wasn’t exactly singing his praises, but he spoke with such fervor that he scared the living daylights out of the sweet sisters in attendance. Beelzebub pressed their thighs together and sat at the edge of their pew, praying for some little friction to alleviate the insufferable want that plagued them.

They pressed their hands together between tightly clenched thighs with just enough pressure against their nipples to feel their nerves sing. Gabriel’s honey-sweet, warrior-strong voice filled his ears. The world grew hazy, and it was as if Gabriel were speaking those words to them alone.

Just as their head began to tilt back, just before they truly lost their sense of time and place, Gabriel’s voice brightened and eased into the denouement of the sermon. Beelzebub’s breath caught for a moment. They squinted at Gabriel. The damned angel knew exactly what he was doing, didn’t he?

Gabriel stepped down from the altar after the sermon and shook hands with the sisters. Many gushed about how strongly they had felt his words, or swooned over how  _ different  _ his sermon was from others they had heard. So as not to stick out from the crowd given how taken they had been during the sermon, Beelzebub filed forward.

“Sister… Lilith, was it?” Gabriel asked with a smile. He took Beelzebub’s hand in both of his own. Purple eyes saw right through Beelzebub’s leering gaze. Before Beelzebub had a chance to speak, Gabriel turned. “Mother Superior?”

“Yes, Father?” Mother Superior was beaming. Fire and brimstone, that was the old way!

“Would you mind if I spoke with Sister Lilith?” he asked with a winning smile.

“Of course, Father.” Mother Superior returned the holy smile without a second thought. The sisters filed out and Mother Superior closed the chapel doors behind them.

Gabriel’s smile changed when he turned it on his beloved prince of Hell. He leaned forward. “What did you think of the sermon?” he asked, excited.

Beelzebub could feel sweat dripping between their breasts, trickling down over-sensitive flesh. Their thighs were slick, and they fought to keep them from noticeably trembling. “It was… old fashioned…” they mumbled.

“You’re shaking,” Gabriel said softly. He turned Beelzebub’s hand over in his own, running his thumb down their palm.

Beelzebub frowned and looked away from Gabriel.

“You are my worst enemy…” Gabriel mused, tracing up Beelzebub’s wrist. “Because you  _ are  _ powerful.” Gabriel drew Beelzebub closer, into his arms. His heart beat double-time as he felt the prince’s slight frame against his chest.

Beelzebub flushed, their forearms against Gabriel’s chest, fists clenched, but unable to push away.

Gabriel bent toward the prince of Hell. “Can I kiss you?” he asked quietly.

“Why are you asking?” Beelzebub growled and shoved at Gabriel’s chest. They didn’t get far.

“Because I want to kiss you everywhere,” Gabriel replied earnestly. “That’s what one does… to show…”

“Zztop,” Beelzebub buzzed sharply. They didn’t like where Gabriel was going with this. Fucking and getting off and playing around was one thing. But  _ talking.  _ Oh, the talking was horrible. “Your voice is annoying,” Beelzebub grumbled.

Gabriel grinned as he ran a hand down Beelzebub’s side and over their backside. “Oh?” he asked. “Did you sit on something wet?”

Beelzebub wanted to slap that smirk off Gabriel’s face.

“I think you liked my sermon.”

“If I kiss you, will you stop talking?” Beelzebub snapped and looked up at Gabriel.

Gabriel looked surprised.  _ Good _ , thought Beelzebub. The angel’s lips faltered for a moment, indecision written on his brow. “But I wanted to tell you how…”

“You’ve done enough talking.” Beelzebub grabbed Gabriel by his purple vestments and dragged him into a lip-crushing kiss.

Gabriel stumbled into the kiss. It felt like Beelzebub was choking him again, but this time not because his throat was being restricted, but because the crush of the prince’s lips stole his breath away. His hands came to Beelzebub’s cheeks and held them there.

Once their lips were connected, neither could stop. Beelzebub was fueled by an arousal that had been mounting for much longer than they were willing to admit. The sermon had just sent them over the edge. They had hungered for Gabriel since last time. Gabriel had no illusions about his desire fueled by love. He’d dreamed of kissing Beelzebub, only able to imagine how their lips would feel compared to the other soft, intimate parts of their body he had been allowed to touch and taste.

In the push and pull of their bodies and lips, the archangel and prince of Hell tumbled onto one of the front pews. Finally, Gabriel pulled back to catch his breath.

“Father John…” Beelzebub husked, lips kiss swollen and veil askew. “What if someone catches us?” they whispered delicately.

“I’ll make sure no one disturbs us,” Gabriel promised. With a gesture, all the cloister doors shut, and the chapel doors locked.

Beelzebub grinned. Gabriel was really getting quite good at being bad. They looked Gabriel up and down before the archangel’s attention returned, smoothing a hand down his front to feel for that cock he had corporated before.

“Hey,” Gabriel snapped back to Beelzebub and caught their wrist. “I’m not done yet.”

Beelzebub blinked at Gabriel.

“I told of your awful deeds…” Gabriel lowered his head to the crook of Beelzebub’s neck. The prince could feel his breath through the cloth, but not his lips. “Your sinister schemes…” He let go of Beelzebub’s hand so that he could run his hand along the slim line of their torso. “Your Fall from grace…” His lips trailed lower, meeting his hands at their breast. Beelzebub couldn’t stop their body from arching from the unyielding wood of the pew to meet Gabriel’s hot mouth.

“But I didn’t tell of your lustful body…” Gabriel hadn’t been given the chance to practice appreciating every part of Beelzebub’s body, but the prince had given him quite a lot to think about after their last meeting. He wanted to learn this body. It appeared that words of affirmation might be his prince’s love language.

Beelzebub felt themself tremble and cursed under their breath. Gabriel was doing things to them they didn’t think possible. They actually  _ wanted  _ him.

Wary of Beelzebub’s sensitivity about having their bare skin touched, Gabriel continued on above the cloth. He gave their breast an experimental squeeze as he ran his tongue over the barely-there peak of their nipple and watched the prince bite down a moan. He grinned as he felt sharp nails rake through his hair.

“So full of sin,” Gabriel whispered between Beelzebub’s breasts. The demon’s knees pressed sharply into his sides. One hand slid up the back of Beelzebub’s thigh, catching just a whisper of skin. The prince choked on their breath, pulling at Gabriel’s hair.

“You punished me for touching these thighs… but all I wanted was to make you happy…” Gabriel searched Beelzebub’s flush face. Cautiously, he reached for their veil. When the prince made no move to stop him, he lifted it off their head. For a moment, he studied Beezlebub’s human-softened features, their unmarred face and sweat-curled hair. He kissed them, fingers diving into those damp locks. In return, Beelzebub demanded friction between their clothed hips.

Gabriel moaned against the demon’s lips. He made the effort and was rewarded with that delicious feeling Beelzebub had introduced him to. His hands instinctively came to Beelzebub’s face, struck by the softness of their cheeks. He pulled back just far enough to let his lips find new places to kiss the prince. Softly, slowly he let his lips map the geography of their cheekbone, then temple. Next it was their ear, which brought a pleasant buzz from their throat.

Beelzebub wanted to ask Gabriel why he was doing this. Part of their mind didn’t want to know, and the rest didn’t care. No one had willingly given them so much pleasure. They were lost in it. Gabriel’s lips dared to touch their neck, and they felt themself teetering on the edge. With a sharp breath, they pushed him away with a warning look.

Gabriel looked briefly apologetic. Instead, he took the tense hand from against his chest and brought it to his lips. Watching Beelzebub’s reaction, he kissed their fingers that had brought him so much pleasure and pain during their last encounter.

Beelzebub didn’t understand. They didn’t understand why Gabriel was so insistent. They didn’t understand why he was so willing. They didn’t understand how he could be so tender when they kept shoving him away. They didn’t understand why it felt so incredible as he kissed their wrist and continued down their arm. They didn’t understand why they wrapped their arm around his neck and welcomed him to keep kissing them.

This wasn’t like them. The prince of Hell did not submit to such tenderness. It was unseemly. Before Beelzebub could get too twisted about their body surrendering to the archangel’s sweet kisses, they found Gabriel discovering new erogenous zones that sent shivers up their spine. It was tantalizing to have fabric between their flesh and Gabriel’s blessed kisses. 

Instead of peeling the fabric away, Gabriel made sure there was a barrier between him and his prince. Even as he parted Beelzebub’s thighs to treat every inch with wordless praise, he slid the fabric along. He was lost in his newfound freedom to touch Beelzebub where he pleased. It wasn’t until he heard Beelzebub suddenly moan and throw a hand between their legs that he was shaken from his reverie. He watched in awe as Beelzebub shook and shuddered, just holding the wet fabric of their habit between their legs.

Gasping for air, Beelzebub’s thighs splayed open limply. Their fingers moved slowly between their legs.

Gabriel slowly crept back over the prince. He wanted to see his face, but Beelzebub had turned their head to the side. “Did you…”

“Yezz,” Beelzebub snapped, keeping their eyes shut so they didn’t have to see Gabriel’s gloating face. If anyone  _ ever  _ found out they had climaxed from just… that… They would never live in down in Hell. Great, now Gabriel had some real ammunition against them.

“You did,” Gabriel breathed. “You felt it.” He touched Beelzebub’s face, turned them to face him. “How I feel about you,” he said warmly.

Beelzebub cracked open an eye. Goddamn puppy, that’s what he looked like. Despite the circumstances, Beelzebub was in a good mood. It had been… a really fucking hot orgasm, to be fair, regardless of how it had been achieved. “Sure, Archangel,” Beelzebub drawled. “The earth fucking moved.”

Gabriel cupped their face and kissed them. This time, it wasn’t the passionate crush of teeth and hunger, but the tenderness he had treated their whole body with. “I love you,” he said, with all the weight of the world.

Beelzebub stared. “O… kay.”

Gabriel’s lavender eyes darted over Beelzebub’s face eagerly for a moment, breath held. The church was silent. “Aren’t you going to say you love me too?”

“... What  _ planet  _ are you from, Gabriel?” Beelzebub shouted.

Gabriel was taken aback. He jerked back a few inches, shaken.

“Seriously! I’m a demon! I’m- I’m the  _ Lord  _ of  _ Hell. _ ” Beelzebub sat up and stared incredulously at Gabriel. “Did you…” They broke and grinned. “Did you think this was about  _ love? _ ” Their laughter echoed through the chapel.

Gabriel sat back on the pew with the force of a blow.

“Oh, Satan. I knew you were stupid, but…” They howled.

“Stop.” Gabriel’s voice was small, but firm. He closed his eyes. “Please.”

Beelzebub struggled to quell their laughter. “Come on. Even you have to admit that was stupid.”

Gabriel looked at the floor, jaw tight.

Beelzebub stared at him. “Really?  _ Really,  _ Archangel? You thought you were in love with me?”

“I am in love with you!” Gabriel snapped and looked at Beelzebub. His lavender eyes were wrought with hurt. “I thought you could love me, too.”

Beelzebub’s jaw went slack as they tried to fathom in what world Gabriel could dream up that the prince of Hell would  _ ever  _ be in love with him.

“I did it wrong.” Gabriel’s hands tightened into fists. He stood up sharply. “I’ll do it right next time.” He turned on Beelzebub with a tight, officious smile. “Next time,” he said, pointing a finger at his beloved.

Beelzebub’s mouth opened and closed, but before they could find literally anything to say to that, Gabriel turned on his heel and stormed out of the chapel. The prince of Hell was left sitting on a pew, in a habit, utterly confused.


	7. I Will Be Alone Again Tonight, My Dear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a love confession that went down like a lead balloon, Gabriel gets himself a penthouse on Earth to mope in. Meanwhile in Hell, Beelzebub is in stitches over the idiot archangel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is from ["Alone Again Or"](https://open.spotify.com/track/1XuccRABkfUVB4FjSVhjL1) by Love.

“... What is this?”

“The filing for a residency on Earth.”

The office for the patron saint of real estate was a mix between a travel agency and an over-thought model home office. Pictures of exotic locales, some of the finest designs wrought by God and Her angel servants, were pasted on the wood-panelled walls, and the room was furnished with fashion over function. It had changed with the times, every time Head Office got a facelift, and currently sported more windows than was practical, and modern furniture that looked good but wasn’t especially inviting. Gabriel didn’t bother trying to sit down in the chair disguised as new-age revivalist art.

St. Joseph was a fatherly figure, as was to be expected of the man who had raised Their Lord Jesus Christ as his own son--no small task, as with any young boy in those days. Unlike the Heavenly angels, he was limited to a form similar to his mortal coil, but he bore it well. Gabriel was in polite acquaintance with him, but less friendly than one might expect of the angel who had visited him on Earth to tell him that his wife was to bear the son of God.

St. Joseph looked at the paperwork filled out in elegant cursive. “Archangel…” He took off his reading glasses, “Forgive me for asking, but… do you even need to file?” Joseph chuckled. 

Gabriel fidgetted. “I wanted to go through the proper channels.”

Joseph’s kind eyes creased as he smiled. “Very well. Let’s have a look.” He put his glasses back on his face and turned to his computer. Cross-referencing the paperwork, he peered back up at his screen. “London, eh?” He glanced at Gabriel. “I would have thought you would go for Salt Lake City. They love you there.”

Gabriel smiled. “Mormons, though. They’re a bit… strange.”

Joseph laughed. “Quite right, quite right. Neighborhood’s nice, though.” He nodded to himself.

“Since one of the Head Offices is in London, I thought it would be convenient. No need to miracle myself hither and yon.” Gabriel was beginning to regret his decision to go through the Earth estate office. Every innocent question threatened to undo him. He had done so well keeping his lips sealed up tight about the thing that weighed on him like the world on Atlas’ shoulders.

That was one of the primary reasons he had decided, after over six thousand years, to finally set up a residency on Earth. His office had begun to feel like a prison. He couldn’t keep his paperwork in order. Ruined stress balls were filling up his trash can. The carpet was beginning to wear thin in the pattern of his pacing steps. And no matter how many times he changed the hiding place for his book of love languages, as if it were actual pornography, he existed in a constant state of dread that it would be discovered.

“Planning on taking a little time off?” Joseph asked.

Gabriel stiffened minutely. “Work never sleeps. No… rest for the wicked and all that.” He forced a chuckle. “But… you get tired of the same four walls.”

“I hear that! Mary and I, we have a nice little place up in Heaven Proper… That boy of ours, though, do wish he’d come by more often…”

Gabriel smiled politely so as not to reveal his disinterest.

“... You do work ever so hard, Archangel.” St. Joseph had finally come around in his rambling back to the archangel before him. “God’s work,” he nodded. “You do well doing God’s work. Especially after all that mess with Armageddon…” He clucked his tongue and shook his head.

Gabriel frowned. He hated to be reminded of that whole debacle. He had been revisiting it quite a bit, recently. Thinking on the nature of angels and demons, on collusion or fraternizing, whatever you might call it. Collaboration. Companionship. That had been the first time in thousands of years that he had seen Beelzebub. They had talked then like equals. A door opening…

“Ah, here we are!” Joseph interrupted his thoughts and took the screen with both hands to turn it around. “Penthouse suite in Hackney, East London, very convenient, all the amenities… Pool, in-house gym, bowling alley, movie theater…”

Gabriel peered at the image of a gleaming, modern building. It wasn’t all too different from the beautiful edifice of Head Office itself. He found himself smiling, despite the circumstances that had brought him so low as to seek out an Earthly residence. It might be nice, seeing the sights up close. He had been learning about so many human procedures in the past few weeks--thanks in no small part to his devotion to courting a certain prince of Hell--that he found himself in some way excited to take this next leap into the messiness of mortal living.

“Is this a normal residence, by human standards?”

“Oh, Heavens, no.” Joseph chuckled. He turned the screen back toward himself and hit a few keys on his keyboard. “Mm, here. This is a bit more… standard,” he said and turned the screen around.

Gabriel frowned at the squat, stained squalor of a dilapidated building of flats squeezed between other buildings like it. “Oh. No.” He shook his head. “I much prefer the former.”

“I thought you might.” St. Joseph was not one to judge, but Gabriel was far from used to such simple accommodations. “So, shall I set it up for you?” He crossed his hands on the desk. “If you’re looking to spend a little more time away from the Office, there are some lovely cottages in the South Downs, or Dorset…”

“No, I should be close at hand. I’m the Archangel Gabriel, after all.”

“That you are,” Joseph mused. He wouldn’t dare say so, but he thought Gabriel looked tired. Six thousand years on the job and one failed Armaggeddon would do that to an angel, he supposed. “Right. I’ll make the arrangements, then.”

“When can I… go there?”

Joseph hit a few keys. “Soon as you like.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

The place still smelled of sawdust and drywall when he stepped inside. It was immaculately clean--well, clean as it could be by Earth standards; Gabriel would not go so far as to say  _ immaculate. _ He had expected it to look more… human. But without any furniture, no plates and dishes, nothing in the brand new refrigerator, not even a box or a book, it felt sterile. He wondered if he should go to a human store to buy human furniture. But how did the humans get it from the store to their apartments? Especially one on the thirty-seventh floor?

He walked a circle around the living room and ended up by the fireplace. He tentatively leaned against the mantlepiece, tested a pose. It felt alright. A bit silly in an empty apartment. He went into every room, one by one. How did the humans do it? How did they get all their  _ stuff  _ that made each apartment, each domicile and abode, feel like a home? How did they make it unique?

This wasn’t what he wanted at all. This wasn’t what he had envisioned when St. Joseph had showed him pictures of beautifully furnished rooms and quirky art on the walls. It did nothing but further open the gaping hole in his chest.

_ What  _ ** _planet _ ** _ are you from? _

What kind of question was that? He wasn’t from any planet. He was from God. He was part of Creation, same as Beelzebub. They were of the same stock, for Christ’s sake. How could they ask such a hurtful question?

_ Really, Archangel? You really thought you were in love with me? _

It wasn’t a question of thought or belief--Gabriel  _ knew  _ he was in love with Beelzebub. It wasn’t like it was easy loving that spiteful menace. If he could have chosen otherwise, he certainly would have. But in his heart of hearts, it was true. He never would have laid down with Satan’s own right hand if it wasn’t for love. He had no doubt of that.

What else could have led him to yearn for Beelzebub, even as the demon struck him and demeaned him? He could not deny the fire Beelzebub set in his veins. Beelzebub made him feel something in this paltry human body. His body had  _ changed,  _ become something just to sate Beelzebub’s desires. To sate his own desire… Deny it as he might, the physical aspect of his affection was unavoidable.

It was not purely procedure that had led him to that act in the church. He wasn’t just following words in a silly mortal book. It had been so perfect--so special. He’d seen it in Beelzebub’s eyes, felt it in the way their body relented to his touch. It was sacrilegious in a way he knew would thrill the prince, but it was tender, different than when Beelzebub had their way with him. But the result was the same. Gabriel hardly touched those lustful corporations between the demon’s legs, and still he had brought them to that shuddering climax.

_ Did you think this was about  _ ** _love_ ** _ ? _

Those words… It was the words that haunted him. Maybe Beelzebub was right to shut him up. Maybe it would be easier if he didn’t say anything at all.

Beelzebub laughed into an empty throne room. They’d been doing that quite a lot in the days following their last run in with Gabriel. Enough so that Dagon didn’t even look up this time to humor them. The rest of the court were obligated to laugh when Beelzebub did. It filled up the dank hall with a horrible buzz of humorless noise.

“Zzhut up.” Beelzebub grinned into their fingers, chin resting on a palm. There might have been work to do, but the prince was basking. What a beautiful misery they had created. All it had taken was a little push in the right direction.

One little whisper, just one night spent naked next to that angel, and Gabriel had written the rest of his torture himself. Nothing had happened that night. Well--Beelzebub had taken the archangel back to their flat. They had listened to him moan and babble, going back and forth between righteous anger and guilty despair. They had helped Gabriel out of his puke-dribbled clothes and stumbled him into the bathroom. They had ogled that perfect body and thought about taking it for a test ride.

But it was so much sweeter to resist, and to let Gabriel think that he had succumbed.

They might have taken off their clothes and knelt by the tub, naked as Gabriel was. They might have even washed the slobbering drunk angel down. They might have bodily dragged him from the tub and onto the couch in a towel. They definitely had another drink and stared at Gabriel’s chiseled chest rise and fall in a drunken stupor. Then, they might have finished toweling the angel down and made sure he was comfortably in bed. They might have run fingers over his strong jaw, down the cord of his throat, the dip of his clavicle. They might have pressed their body against the angel’s, just to see what it felt like. They might have been tempted to fall asleep there.

Might have. Who was to say? Gabriel certainly didn’t know. All he knew was that he woke up beside the Lord of Hell and it was  _ obvious  _ to his mind what had happened. Beelzebub only encouraged the narrative.

That first call had been a real puzzler. Just what Gabriel was playing at? In retrospect, it should have been obvious. To their mind, Gabriel was just praying for trouble. Archangels, more often than not, got what they prayed for. If he was going to try to play a devil’s game with the devil who had invented it, he was in for a world of trouble.

Looking back, they were still amazed at Gabriel’s compliance. It took no time at all to make Gabriel beg for them. Most mortals begged for mercy. Most demons begged for death. But Gabriel… Beelzebub’s fingers tip-toed across their lips, and they closed their eyes at the now-familiar stir. No matter. It was perfectly on brand for them to lust after forbidden fruit.

Beelzebub would be lying if they said they hadn’t enjoyed listening to Gabriel tempt fate with his ill-begotten sermon. They giggled at the thought. It was the context that made it all the sweeter.

Love. The archangel had done it for love! The giggle grew into another raucous laugh that split the silence that hung around the tap-tap of Dagon’s typewriter. 

The duke glanced at Beelzebub and smiled a little. It was good to see Beelzebub in such good spirits. They had seemed tetchy when they left for Earth. Whatever it was that they had done, it seemed to have done the job.

What a joke! Beelzebub couldn’t stop laughing. It was only the cursed memory of what had preceded that foolish confession that quelled their amusement. Those soft lips… They could still feel them. Too soft. Too gentle on their mouth. And on their cheeks… and brow… fingers, arms… breasts, belly, hips, thighs.... Too soft. But the heat still pooled in the pit of their stomach all the same.

_ I’ll get it right next time. _

Next time? There wouldn’t be a next time. There never should have been a “next time.” Beelzebub was bored of the sappy archangel!

… Or were they?

The confession was too sweet. Not too sweet like the saccharine kisses--too sweet like honeyed wine that burned down their throat. Intoxicating, all the same, like how Gabriel kept taking punishment, and then crawling back for more.

_ Next time. _

There had been fervor in Gabriel’s eyes, wrapped up like a present in a ribbon made of pain. Beelzebub could only wonder what desperation would make the angel do. 

And in the end, they would be the winner. Only a fool would think he could win the heart of the Lord of Hell. There wasn’t any heart to win.


	8. Deliverance from Malaise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Infuriated by an unauthorized mass temptation, Beelzebub rushes to track down the culprit. Gabriel celebrates his clever 'act of service' with a mimosa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HUGE HUGE HUUUGE thanks to [Ingthing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ingthing/pseuds/ingthing) for spending FAR too long bastardizing a line from "A Few of my Favorite Things" with me in the middle of the night just for this stupid joke.
> 
> Why do you put up with me.
> 
> Also, so many apologies to Oscar Hammerstein II who wrote the precious original lyrics.

“What the Hell is thizz?” Beelzebub stormed out of their office. In their hand was a long spool of ticker tape that trailed behind them even as they stomped further and further from its source. “What the HELL izz THIZZ?” they shouted.

Dagon was already halfway down the hall, a rotary phone juggled in one hand, a hellphone pinched between ear and shoulder, while papers dropped from a folder tucked under their arm. “Sir, I-- no, _ not you _\--” Dagon hissed at one receiver, “sir, it’s--SHUT UP!” another country heard from, “--SIR!”

“What the fuck is going on up there?” Beelzebub sneered. “I did not authorizze this!”

“Yes, I understand you’ve already got your hands full, but I don’t care. This needs to be dealt with,” Dagon said to the black slate of the hellphone precariously pressed between ear and shoulder. “No, no, you are not-- you _ are not authorized to _\--”

Beelzebub tossed the ticker tape aside with as much fury as one could toss a flimsy piece of paper, then knocked the rotary phone out of Dagon’s hand. It gave a sad jingle as it cracked on the ground. Beelzebub snatched the hellphone and threw it aside, then, for good measure, scattered the last of the papers under their arm.

Dagon stood empty handed and pale faced.

“Dagon. I need you to tell me why the _ fuck _ five percent of the fucking _ zzzoul cattle _ up there are _ at this very moment _in moral crisizzz.” Five percent may not have seemed like a dire fraction of the population, unless one took into consideration that it was the entire head count of America.

“I-I-I…” they stammered, then took a breath to compose themself and started again, “Sir. I believe… There was a mass temptation.”

“A mazzz temptation.” Beelzebub stared hard at Dagon.

“Yessir. It seems… well, you know how the humans have been doing all sorts of sinful things on their cellphones these days, and well…”

“Are you telling me… a human did thizzz?” Beelzebub growled and glared at the scattered reports around their feet. Some started to smoke and char on the edges. They snatched up a few.

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“No! No, sir. Definitely not. Impossible.”

“Then who the fuck did thizzz? I did not authorizze this! Did you fucking authorizze this?!”

“No! No, sir!”

“Then who! Tell me! If they think they’re getting a fucking commendation, they’ve got another thing coming.”

“The… the source of the temptation came from Earth. B-b-but it was definitely not human.”

“Crowley…” Beelzebub growled. They felt a flicker of apprehension. It wasn’t fear they felt toward the maligned demon, but disgust. Crowley had mutated into some kind of horrible Earth-entity, untouchable by Heaven or Hell. “I’ll fucking dizzcorporate him myself, with my bare handzz. That piece of shit. He knew thizz would just gum up the workzz, drown us in paperwork. What is he planning…”

Dagon was glad to have Beelzebub’s ire directed elsewhere. They exhaled. “Sir, it’s… well, it’s very sudden, but the numbers look good. It seems to be working. Whoever did this…”

Beelzebub narrowed their eyes at Dagon.

“Of course they should have gone through the proper channels, sir, don’t get me wrong. But… our numbers are up, even without dispatching demons to follow-up on every instance.”

They considered this. Irritation buzzed at the forefront of their mind. Stacks and stacks of paperwork. Reassignments. Priority assessments. Mass ascensions. They waved this all aside with a sneer.

“This zzource--can you track it on Earth?”

“Yessir.”

“Good. I’m going up there to have a little chat with the smartazz who did this.”

Gabriel sat perched on a stool wrought of delicate gold filigree in the mid-tower bar below his penthouse suite. His Heavenly influence may have had some effect on the decor. The amenities had only just become operational after he moved into the brand new skyscraper of suites, and they had miraculously chosen a theme that focused on white marble and gold accents. 

It was a bit early for alcohol, but Gabriel had discovered that humans had alcoholic beverages appropriate for every time of day. He’d become rather fond of mimosas, despite himself. He liked how the bubbles tickled his nose and down his throat, and the orange juice invigorated him.

The morning had been a buzz of activity. Heaven was all a tizzy after a mass temptation had swept across America. Par for the course, really. America was always a hotbed of sinful activity. So many temptations splashed across every ubiquitous screen. Being Head of Telecommunications, Gabriel had a system. He delegated through Sandalphon, and worked remotely from his herald-phone. He’d taken care of the paperwork quite early this morning, just after the pings started coming in.

“_ You. _”

Gabriel looked up from his phone, unsurprised to see Beelzebub standing there.

Beelzebub, much to their chagrin, looked shocked.

Gabriel caught the bartender’s attention with a little smile. In moments, another mimosa appeared on the bar.

“You…” Beelzebub blinked at Gabriel. “Shouldn’t you be at Head Office?”

“It’s all taken care of.” Gabriel said as he lifted his glass.

Beelzebub was rooted in place. _ Gabriel _had done this? The bloody Archangel of Heaven? Holiest of the holy?

“Well? I don’t want to drink alone.”

Beelzebub took a seat stiffly.

Gabriel raised his glass toward Beelzebub with an uncharacteristically enigmatic smile.

Beelzebub glanced at the archangel, scowled, then picked up their glass and reluctantly chimed the fine crystal against Gabriel’s glass. They drank down the mimosa in one go and slammed the crystal down sharply.

“What are you playing at?”

“It took me a while to come up with it.” Gabriel took a delicate sip. “Actually--it’s funny,” he chuckled, “I got the idea from that idiot Crowley. Do you recall when he took down the whole cell network in London?”

Beelzebub narrowed their eyes at Gabriel.

“Not to be outdone, I went a bit… larger in scale.” Lavender eyes flashed.

“Why?” Beelzebub demanded.

“The angels were getting restless.” Gabriel brushed aside culpability with a wave of his hand. “They needed something to do. And… it’s so hard to get good help these days, isn’t it?” he asked in a low voice.

Beelzebub was baffled. They couldn’t wrap their brain around the idea that Gabriel would _ help _his very nemesis to tip the scales of morality.

“I did it for you,” Gabriel said bluntly. His handsome jaw tilted to one side, expression searching and thoughtful. He had thought long and hard about how to prove his love after his last attempt had fizzled.

Beelzebub stared at the marble bar top for a long moment. Finally, their lips jerked, pulled at a bemused angle. “You’re… insane.” A laugh bubbled up in their chest, then spilled out, over-loud in the fine establishment. “You’re crazy!”

Gabriel’s lips spread into a broad smile at Beelzebub’s laughter. It was a mean, sharp sound that tore through the ambiance, and yet Gabriel loved to hear it. Perhaps he really _ had _got it right this time. “Humans say love makes you do crazy things,” Gabriel said easily.

Beelzebub faltered and looked dubiously at Gabriel, then laughed anew. “You’re still on that, are you?” they sneered with a grin.

“Can’t change what’s true.”

Beelzebub smirked at Gabriel. For once, that angelic smile didn’t piss them off. “Gluttony is a sin, archangel.”

“What do you mean?”

Beelzebub leaned toward Gabriel and ran a finger along his jaw. “You’re a fucking _ glutton _for punishment.”

Gabriel caught Beelzebub’s wrist before they could pull it away and pressed a kiss into their palm. “You _ love _to punish me.”

Beelzebub jerked back and looked up at Gabriel with wide eyes.

“Don’t you?”

“You’re pushing it, Archangel,” Beelzebub growled.

Gabriel released Beelzebub’s wrist with a haughty smirk. He checked his watch, another gaudy human contraption of gold and too many delicate mechanisms. “That temptation should keep them busy for a while.”

Beelzebub eyed their empty glass with a frown, then turned to Gabriel with a raised brow. “You orchestrated all thizz to keep Heaven and Hell buzzy?”

“Consider it… an act of service.” Gabriel didn’t want to play his cards too openly. It wouldn’t do to admit that he was following the direction of some silly little book to try and win the heart of the Lord of Hell.

“This is one fucked up summonzz for a date.” Despite themself, Beelzebub found a grin on their lips. They lifted a finger in the direction of the bartender to order another mimosa.

“You don’t like it?” Gabriel asked lightly.

“I didn’t zzay that.” Beelzebub studied Gabriel. The smile that settled on Gabriel’s lips was writ with both innocent pleasure, and dark anticipation. How had it come to this? One tiny seed of sin, spiraled out of control. Indulgence that Beelzebub had been sure would ruin the archangel only fueled the fire. Now the holiest of angels was dabbling with temptations?

“So you’re pleased with the work.” Gabriel grinned with pride. He was sure he’d gotten it right this time.

“I didn’t zzay that, either.” Beelzebub leered at Gabriel as they picked up their mimosa. Oh, they would show Gabriel _ exactly _how they felt about having all this work dumped in their lap. “What is thizz place? Your bar?” the prince asked, scowling at the glittering decor. “It has your stink all over it.”

“You think?” Gabriel asked brightly. “Heavens no, not my bar. Well, not intentionally. It’s rather uncouth for an angel to run an establishment on Earth, don’t you think?” He thought of Aziraphale’s bookshop with a frown and shake of his head. “But it is in the same building as my residence.”

Beelzebub snorted into their mimosa and put the glass flute down quickly. “You. Have a residence on Earth.”

“Yes.” Gabriel avoided Beelzebub’s gaze and sipped at his drink.

“Since when?” Beelzebub smirked.

“Only recently.”

“Mm. Why’s that?” they drawled.

“It’s about time, isn’t it?” Gabriel blustered.

Beelzebub planted their chin in their palm, sharp elbow rested on the marble bar top.

“One grows weary of the same trappings…” Gabriel waved his hand.

“Mm-hm,” Beelzebub plied.

“Lose track of time up in Heaven proper, and the Office, well…”

“Courting a certain Lord of Hell has nothing to do with it.”

Gabriel balked. He wanted to deny it. But it was nearly impossible for him to lie.

“Got yourself a little love den.”

Gabriel’s cheeks colored. He looked at Beelzebub with wide eyes. It was the first time the demon had really acknowledged his feelings and intentions.

“You’re so fucking pathetic.” Beelzebub shook their head. 

“Could I… tempt you?” Gabriel asked, undeterred.

“To your love den?” Beelzebub considered their mimosa with a smirk. “Conzzidering you went to all the trouble…” They knocked back the rest of their drink. “I suppose.”


	9. Free From This Hunger Inside of Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beelzebub punishes Gabriel for inconveniencing them with his little 'act of service.' Uh. Smut. It's a ton of smut. CW: spanking, bondage, rough first time.

“You really need to work on your concept of temptationzz, Archangel.”

“Got your attention, didn’t I?” Gabriel looked pleased with himself. “Not like I would do anything outright evil. Like I said, the angels needed something to do.”

“To keep themselvezz buzzy. Out of your hair.” Beelzebub raised a brow at Gabriel. The archangel was certainly becoming daring.

“... Why would they be in my _ hair _?” 

“Ugh.” Beelzebub felt more repulsed, the inkling of allure Gabriel had cultivated vanishing in the wake of his cluelessness.

Gabriel’s penthouse was exactly what Beelzebub expected. Clean, plush, bright, and sterile. It didn’t look like a person lived here. It had the air of a swanky hotel, or a model penthouse. Their eyes glazed over the place in bland disinterest--until they spotted the tiered tray of cupcakes piled high in the kitchen.

Gabriel watched Beelzebub out of the corner of his eye as the demon made a bee-line for the very thing he had left out for them. Beelzebub grabbed one of the confections and was already unwrapping it by the time they turned around to find Gabriel watching them. The prince scowled at Gabriel.

“Don’t think this gets you off the hook. I’m still pissed at you.”

“Why are you angry with me? I did you a favor,” Gabriel said sweetly. “I thought you would like it. A little angelic service toward your demonic intentions.”

Beelzebub snapped a large bite out of the cupcake and leered at Gabriel. As they chewed, a smile grew across their lips. “You really are a masochist, aren’t you?” They licked their lips and eyed the cupcake eagerly. “Well, go on, then.” Beelzebub waved idly at Gabriel. “I’ll deal with you when I’m finished.”

Gabriel blinked at Beelzebub. “Go on…?”

“Get naked, idiot,” Beelzebub snapped. “For Satan’s sake, do I have to spell everything out?” When Gabriel hesitated a second longer, Beelzebub glared at him. “That’s what you want, isn’t it?”

Gabriel blushed and smiled bashfully at the carpet.

Beelzebub rolled their eyes and took a long lick of icing off the top of the cupcake.

Gabriel shrugged off his coat and draped it carefully over the arm of a sofa. Beelzebub pretended not to watch as he loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt. He untied his shoes, then shed the rest of his clothes, each folded neatly and placed just-so. Once he was naked, he walked toward Beelzebub and placed his hands on their shoulders to place a sweet kiss against their temple.

Beelzebub whirled and slapped Gabriel’s hands away. “I said I’ll deal with you when I’m finished!” Fierce dark eyes dared Gabriel to come any closer. “Go wait for me. There. On the floor. On your knees.” Beelzebub gestured. Their hard gaze softened as they looked Gabriel’s naked form up and down and noted he was already packing. A smile tugged at their lips. Gabriel obeyed.

Beelzebub finished their first cupcake and hopped up onto a gleaming barstool to lick their fingers clean. Gabriel watched as they took a second cupcake and began to unwrap it even more delicately than the first.

“Don’t,” Beelzebub warned Gabriel as he opened his mouth to say something. “I want to hear what you have to say for yourself, but if you run your mouth now, I’ll gag you.” Gabriel shut his mouth. Beelzebub lifted their gaze to consider the delicious archangel sat on his heels, waiting for him. After a moment of silence, Beelzebub murmured, “Good.”

They took their time enjoying the second cupcake. It was sinfully good; rich, buttery, and oh-so sweet. “Not taking any chances this time,” Beelzebub muttered. They snapped their fingers, and Gabriel found his arms suddenly wrenched behind his back and lashed with rope. “I want you right where I put you.” Another snap, and Gabriel felt something latch around his neck and saw a cord come into existence in front of him. He was dragged forward by the neck, wrenched up where the cord was latched to the ceiling. His thighs strained, forced apart to keep his balance on his knees.

Beelzebub sat back and crossed their legs with a smile like a cat with cream. “If only Heaven could see you now…” They took another bite of cupcake and allowed their gaze to drag over the chiseled lines of Gabriel’s perfect body. “That corporation… it’zz very telling. Of what you think of yourself.” Beelzebub finished their cupcake and relished in sucking the frosting from every digit. They stood and straightened their coat before walking to where Gabriel was lashed in place.

“Highest of the angelzz. God’zz most precious one.” Beelzebub ran their finger along Gabriel’s throat, tracing the pronounced line of his adam’s apple bound underneath the collar they had brought into existence. “Well, only after Her _ true _favorite Fell from grace.” The demon held Gabriel’s chin. “Do you remember? Oh, you must’ve hated Lucifer. The only one more preciouzz and beautiful than you.”

Gabriel smiled. “He was my brother. Of course I loved him.” The flat tone of his voice spoke louder than the words that hung in the air.

“It’zz personal for you, isn’t it?” Beelzebub mused. “The fight between good and evil, Heaven and Hell. It’zz not just about doing Her will. You’re _ itching _for a good fight with Lucifer.”

“He betrayed us. He betrayed me.”

“And just look at you now.” Beelzebub grinned. “Playing both sidezz.” The demon’s eyes flicked down to look at Gabriel’s large cock hanging away from his body. “Body corrupted by dezzire…” Beelzebub stepped around Gabriel, admiring the way his broad shoulders were forced back, the strain of his muscles against the black binds. They ran a finger along the cord of his arm, rewarded with a shiver of the archangel’s body. “_ Purposefully _making trouble.” The demon delivered a sharp smack to Gabriel’s bare rear and watched his body jump, straining against the leash that held him.

“Juzzt what were you thinking when you sent all those lascivious textzz?” Beelzebub demanded.

“I was thinking of you…” Gabriel craned his head to catch a glimpse of Beelzebub behind him. He wore a winning smile.

Beelzebub spanked him again. “Thinking of how much WORK you were making for me?”

“Ow!” Gabriel writhed, digging his toes into the plush carpet.

“You didn’t think thizz through, did you?” Beelzebub slapped his tense ass.

Gabriel winced and tried to move his ass out of the line of fire. He could withstand blows damn near everywhere, but had remained unaware for six thousand years how tender his backside was. “You’re not going to keep hitting me there, are you?”

Beelzebub cackled and grabbed one ass cheek roughly. “Oh, I’m going to leave your ass black and blue, Gabriel.”

Gabriel tensed, but not because of Beelzebub’s rough touch. He felt heat spreading from his cheeks down his neck. Beelzebub had never called him by his name in such an intimate moment. He was so taken aback that the next blow ripped a surprised gasp from him.

“You thought you could woo me by playing the _ bad boy, _” another spank, “But all you did was make a PILE,” spank, “of WORK!” Beelzebub added yet another slap of red to the growing canvas of color on Gabriel’s backside.

Gabriel’s flesh was on fire. It didn’t just hurt, but stung, a lingering buzz of pain. The pain should have been unpleasant, by all accounts, but there was something about the intimacy of it, his nakedness, and Beelzebub’s buzzing, teasing tone that made it feel less like an outright punishment. He had witnessed how much Beelzebub got off on being in control, and he would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought often of how intoxicating the lack of control felt.

“And you don’t feel an ounce of remorzze, do you?” Beelzebub ran their hand roughly over Gabriel’s flushed flesh. Gabriel arched and leaned into the leash holding him up as a hiss escaped his lips. “You knew,” Beelzebub raked nails over Gabriel’s ass, “what I would do to you.”

Gabriel bit his lip to muffle the groan that crawled up his throat. The fire of his abused ass lit a spark between his legs. He could feel the tingle crawling up his thighs, the twitch of his cock. He sank back into Beelzebub’s hand and felt himself grow harder.

“You wanted to piss me off with this little ‘gift’ so you could satisfy your own,” spank, “sick,” spank, “desires.”

Gabriel shuddered as the pain crossed circuits with his mounting arousal. God, it was delicious. His whole backside was ruby-red and singing, and now his cock pulsed every time Beelzebub made contact with his flesh.

Beelzebub crouched beside Gabriel, drinking in his uncertain balance between being tugged by his leash and keeping his knees planted on the ground. They grinned at the erection that bobbed between his legs.

“You’re a sick fuck, Gabriel.” Beelzebub sighed with pleasure and stroked over the handprints painted in angry red across his ass. Their fingers slipped between Gabriel’s tense cheeks and traced over his entrance and along the tender flesh of his perineum. The archangel straightened and let out a surprised moan. He’d _ never _been touched there. It felt bizarre and incredible, especially with how tender the surrounding skin had become.

“Look at how hard you are.” Beelzebub’s hand continued between Gabriel’s legs, skating along the underside of his cock and giving it just a touch to set it bobbing. “I can’t even punish you properly.” Beelzebub dragged their fingers back the way they came, eliciting another shudder from the archangel. They walked their fingers up his spine and raked through his hair, pulling his head to the side so they had his full attention as they whispered in his ear. “You’re a terrible angel.”

Gabriel tensed as he felt Beelzebub’s breath hot against his ear, and his hips gave an involuntary roll that made a moan rumble in his chest. His cock ached to be touched, the ghost of Beelzebub’s touch lingering.

“I thought I’d be rid of you after I choked you within an inch of your life.” Beelzebub got back to their feet and gave Gabriel’s leash a sharp tug. “But you _ liked _it.”

Gabriel faltered and was forced to drag a knee forward or fall like dead weight on the leash holding him up. He felt his heart sing as Beelzebub stood before him, oozing with power. “I like making you happy,” he breathed.

“Bullshit,” Beelzebub laughed. “You like being slapped around. And choked. And controlled.” Beelzebub gave Gabriel’s leash a little tug again and leered down at him with a grin of anticipation. “You only like me because I’m the only one powerful enough to do it.”

“I love you,” Gabriel said earnestly.

Beelzebub slapped him. “I hate that.” They rolled their eyes.

“I love the way you make me feel.”

Beelzebub gave Gabriel a doubtful frown.

“I love the way you take control,” he admitted.

A smile crept across Beelzebub’s lips. “That’s better…”

“I love making you smile.”

Beelzebub groaned and gave Gabriel’s collar a yank. “Try again.”

“I love when you touch me.”

“Where?” Beelzebub raised a brow. “Where do you like to be touched?”

Gabriel’s cheeks colored and he squirmed. He adjusted his knees, spread them wider and inched toward Beelzebub. “Anywhere,” he begged. Beelzebub did not look impressed. “Everywhere.” The demon gave Gabriel a bored look. “I-it’s true,” he pleaded.

Beelzebub gave Gabriel’s shoulder a shove to keep him at arm’s length and the leash taut.

“I… I love your hands on my chest… and… down there…”

Beelzebub laughed. “Don’t pretend to be innocent, archangel.” They brushed their fingers through his hair and around under his jaw, running a thumb across his lip. “You can say it, can’t you? You know what it’s called.”

The bonds creaked as Gabriel tried to stretch his aching arms and cant his hips.

“Look at you. Embarrassed by a little dirty talk when you have your foul cock on display. I can see how turned on you are.”

Gabriel blinked up at Beelzebub, as if he’d just had an epiphany.

“You _ didn’t _know what it was called?” Beelzebub spluttered. “You really are a fucking idiot.”

Gabriel grinned bashfully. “I love when you touch my cock,” he said, the words alien on his proper tongue.

“Good,” Beelzebub plied him.

Gabriel glowed under the praise and leaned into the demon’s hand. “And I love when you let me kiss you everywhere. I love the taste of you, and the smell, and--”

“If you’re very good, I might let you taste me.”

“_ Please, _” Gabriel hissed and kissed at Beelzebub’s fingers.

“You’ve been very bad, so you’ll have to be _ very _good if you want to taste me.”

“Punish me as you see fit, Ba’al.”

Beelzebub’s eyes and grin widened. “You _ are _trying to be very good, aren’t you?” they purred.

Gabriel peered sweetly up at his prince.

Beelzebub snorted and pushed Gabriel’s face aside. They walked around to Gabriel’s upturned rear and smirked as it tensed in anticipation. They ran their palm over the still-hot flesh. “Does it still sting, archangel?”

“Ye-ess!” Gabriel cried out as Beelzebub’s hand sang against his flesh again.

“Good.” Beelzebub dragged their hand hard against Gabriel’s entrance, then slapped the opposite cheek for good measure. The angel writhed and leaned into his leash, muscles tense. Beelzebub let their hand wander, stroking down strong thighs and wandering up to thumb the virgin tightness of his hole.

“I want you,” Beelzebub murmured as they crept close to Gabriel, “to tell me how this feels.”

Gabriel heard the demon spit and tensed as Beelzebub worked their thick, sticky saliva between his stinging ass cheeks. The Lord of Hell hovered over Gabriel’s body, a brush of coat here, a whisper of trouser there.

“Wh-what are you…?”

“You’ll zee soon enough.”

Gabriel felt that finger pushing against unyielding flesh. Suddenly, he moaned and felt forced back as the finger pressed _ inside _him. Everything felt so hot. It stung, like a place within him was being forced open, widened by a probing finger.

“O-oh… it feels… weird…” Gabriel whimpered. 

“I’m gonna put more inzzide,” Beelzebub husked in his ear.

Gabriel squirmed as Beelzebub inserted another finger and stretched him in a way he was wholly unprepared for. He leaned into the leash around his neck and moaned, trying to spread his legs wider.

“Do you want more?” Beelzebub asked in a low voice.

Gabriel had never felt so raw and exposed. He hung his head, mouth open,

Beelzebub moved their fingers slowly, working Gabriel open and watching his head sway side to side.They spit at their fingers to give themself more lubrication to work with, sliding their fingers in and out of the angel.

“Spit it out, archangel,” Beelzebub snapped as they thrust their fingers inside Gabriel.

Gabriel gasped and arched, every muscle tightening.

“Tell me how it feels.”

Gabriel strained against his bonds, desperate to feel more of his prince than just a brush of their coat. “It’s… so much…” He panted.

“Does it hurt?” Beelzebub dragged their fingers out slowly, then pressed them gradually back in.

Gabriel moaned and his thighs nearly gave out. “Yes,” he whispered.

“It doesn’t have to hurt,” Beelzebub told him sweetly and stroked his side. “You want it to hurt, don’t you?”

The angel whimpered and his legs trembled as his chest heaved with every breath.

“Can you even take me?” Beelzebub challenged. “How humiliating. You’re going to scream.”

Gabriel gasped as Beelzebub curled their fingers inside him, and dug his toes deeper into the carpet.

“Are you going to scream for me, Gabriel?” Beelzebub asked,

“No… no, I won’t scream,” Gabriel said, struggling to keep his voice from shaking. He shut his eyes tightly. He couldn’t fathom the sensation of fingers moving inside his body, violating his corporation. “What are you going to do to me?” 

Beelzebub scissored their fingers inside the angel and Gabriel cried out. “I’m going to fuck you. I’m going to split you apart with my cock for being such a goddamn nuisance.” They spanked Gabriel for good measure. The archangel thought he would discorporate from the intensity of it. His skin was so raw, and he felt so full, cinched around Beelzebub’s fingers so tightly, and his cock wept for attention. “If you take my cock like a good boy, maybe I’ll let you taste me.”

Gabriel felt a thrill of fear from Beelzebub’s merciless promise. He could miracle this all away if he wanted to. He could have Beelzebub pinned under his arm in an instant. But he wanted this. He wanted to be at Beelzebub’s mercy. He wanted Beelzebub to use him, show him just how delicious their sinful desires could be. This was how Beelzebub wanted to love him, and Gabriel so desperately craved his depraved love.

“Please…” Gabriel whispered as he writhed in discomfort.

“What was that?” Beelzebub asked as they plunged their fingers deep inside the archangel.

“Please!” Gabriel gasped, throwing his head back. He managed to catch Beelzebub’s neck and pressed against them hungrily. His fingers flexed uselessly in their bonds, wanting so badly to touch the demon tormenting him.

Beelzebub removed their fingers and kissed Gabriel’s red-hot face as the angel shuddered from the sudden empty feeling. They gripped Gabriel’s abused rear, pulling the cheeks apart to bare his virgin entrance. With a snap of their slick fingers, they did away with their clothes and brought their cock against Gabriel’s exposed hole.

Gabriel’s breath hitched and he pressed back against any of his beloved prince he could feel from his restrained pose.

Beelzebub buzzed with pleasure in Gabriel’s ear. “Zzo dezzperate…” They kissed the tense muscle of Gabriel’s neck, then dragged teeth over his flesh. Gabriel gasped and turned his head away from the offending teeth. “Don’t hold back. I want to hear you.” Beelzebub reached down and positioned themself against Gabriel’s entrance, drooling a generous amount of their spit over their cock. They worked it against Gabriel’s abused flesh with a groan.

They had never imagined they would fuck the holiest angel in Heaven, much less by his own desire. Gabriel had given his consent the moment he sought out Beelzebub and submitted to their demonic eccentricities. Beelzebub had played plenty of games without consent--proper torture--but they got a sick thrill from the fact that Gabriel actually wanted this.

They groaned against Gabriel’s hair as they pressed inside him. Gabriel’s stuttering cry as he was stretched open only made it sweeter as they sank inch after inch into the tight angel. Beelzebub clutched around Gabriel’s hip at his thigh and brought their other hand to his tight throat. They allowed their slight frame to press against Gabriel’s bound arms and felt every shaking breath.

“I knew you were a tight-azz, Gabriel, but _ fuck. _” Beelzebub drove deeper, pushing Gabriel’s strained thighs forward.

Gabriel moaned in pain and ecstasy. He never could have dreamed of this exquisite feeling. Beelzebub was _ inside _him, actually linking their bodies in such an intimate way, spreading him open and filling him and becoming one with him. He could not keep himself from trembling, eyes prickling with tears.

Beelzebub licked their lips as they watched Gabriel experience a new kind of revelatory ecstasy. They slid back an inch, then slammed back inside the angel. Gabriel cried out and bit his lip. A tear skated quickly down his cheek. Beelzebub stroked his taut throat. “How doezz it feel? Being fucked by your greatest enemy?”

Gabriel shuddered and pressed his head back against Beelzebub’s neck.

The demon withdrew a little further before slapping their hips sharply back inside Gabriel as they squeezed a hand around his throat. “Is it too much?” they whispered delicately.

Gabriel gasped as Beelzebub speared deep inside him and nodded.

“Good.” The demon grinned. They fucked Gabriel mercilessly, seeking their own pure pleasure. The angel cried out and moaned until Beelzebub’s fingers tightened so much around his throat that all he could get out was hoarse gasps. It felt like an eternity of barbed pain assaulting his body, all the while the sick pleasure mounted. He lost it when Beelzebub touched his cock, pumping him like an extension of their cock piercing so deep inside him. He fell limp against his bonds as Beelzebub used him to satisfy themself, blinded by the incredible sensation of the demon fucking him past his limits.

After Beelzebub had their way, Gabriel found himself freed from his bonds. He crumpled on the ground a gasping, aching mess. And then, Beelzebub really surprised him. The demon crept over him and kissed his cheek. Then his neck. They dragged him by the shoulder to lie on his back, and kissed his chest.

“Very good.” Beelzebub smiled at Gabriel and kissed his lips, soft and sensual. “You didn’t even scream.”

Gabriel’s arms tingled so badly, he couldn’t properly feel Beelzebub’s cheek as he moved his fingers to their face. 

Beelzebub allowed Gabriel to touch their face as they relished in the overwhelmed expression on Gabriel’s flush face. They loved how raw he looked. “Do you still love me?” they sneered.

Gabriel cracked a smile and nodded. “More than ever,” he croaked.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Beelzebub laughed.

“You were… inside me. A part of me…” Gabriel brushed his numb fingers through Beelzebub’s hair.

Beelzebub rolled their eyes. “Of course _ you _would wax romantic about being fucked six ways to Sunday.”

“Did I make you feel good?” Gabriel grinned, dazed.

Beelzebub couldn’t lie. “So fucking good.”

“Do you… like it? To hurt like that?”

“I like hurting you,” Beelzebub said frankly. “But I told you. It doesn’t have to hurt.” The demon grinned and moved to straddle Gabriel. “Get hard for me again, archangel,” Beelzebub purred as they stroked Gabriel’s cock in slow, steady strokes.

Gabriel’s breath trembled from his lips as Beelzebub touched his oversensitive cock. The Lord of Hell sat astride him and he could feel the wet heat of them dripping against his flesh. “Beelzebub…” Gabriel whispered, the name like sweet poison on his lips. His ass still burned from being spanked, but Beelzebub’s touch was gentle now, and their gleaming pale body looked so delicate and perfect straddling him.

“You were very good, taking all of my cock,” Beelzebub praised him. They tilted back and allowed their wet cunt to kiss the base of Gabriel’s cock. “Since you were so good, I’ll let you have a taste.”

Gabriel felt vigor returning to his veins as Beelzebub praised him. He had so rarely seen Beelzebub so soft and complimentary. His cock hardened abruptly, eager to perform.

Beelzebub rubbed their clit against Gabriel’s erection with a sigh of content. It was a gorgeous cock--more than suitable for the handsome angel. Beelzebub rose up on their knees and groaned as they rubbed the head of the angel’s cock against the slick folds of their cunt.

Gabriel gasped and raked his fingers in the carpet. It was like nothing else. His cock was oversensitive and Beelzebub felt so soft and slick and wet. He moaned as his hips rolled up toward that glorious sensation.

Beelzebub grinned and let Gabriel start to slide inside them. Gabriel moaned in surprise as pure pleasure shot through his system. The demon framed Gabriel’s cock between their fingers as they slowly sat on his cock. 

Gabriel was utterly lost, so taken with ecstasy that he was sure it couldn’t be real. Beelzebub enveloped him, and he was now inside the demon who had so mercilessly violated his body. His hands came trembling to Beelzebub’s hips and he looked at them in awe.

“Mm…. fuck, this is a good cock…” The demon rubbed their clit slowly as they grinded down against Gabriel.

The angel moaned and gripped Beelzebub’s hips. “Ohh… you feel incredible,” Gabriel groaned. Was this what it had felt like to be inside him for Beelzebub? He could see why the demon had fucked him raw. He pulled himself up from the ground, his gaze tender. He touched their cheek. “Does it hurt?” he asked softly.

Beelzebub sneered at Gabriel, but let their obedient pet have this little thing. Gabriel’s cock felt incredible angled like that so deep inside them. “I told you, idiot. It doesn’t have to hurt.” They smirked and slid their arms over Gabriel’s strong shoulders so they could slide their cunt up and down that glorious cock. Beelzebub’s murmur of contented pleasure was lost under the angel’s loud groan. 

Gabriel’s hands tightened around Beelzebub’s hips and his lips parted as he guided that lithe body to take his cock. The demon’s hips tipped forward and back in a rocking motion that made Gabriel shudder. He kissed Beelzebub, at a loss for words to describe how good it felt.

The prince indulged him, then took his jaw sharply in their grip. “I don’t think you have it in you to fuck me hard enough to make it hurt,” they challenged. “You _ could. _ These muscles aren’t just for show. Gabriel--God’s vengeance--the warrior in gold… Have you gone soft?”

Gabriel looked confused. “You want me to hurt you?”

Beelzebub laughed. “I _ dare _you.”

Gabriel’s eyes hardened and his brow grew heavy. “You’d… like that?” His lips tugged into a bemused smile. “If I took some righteous retribution?” He shoved Beelzebub onto their back, and loomed over them, buried deep.

A flicker of surprise visited Beelzebub’s face. “You don’t have it in you. You’re fucking weak. A bureaucrat that never gets hizz handzz dirty,” they spat.

Gabriel drew his cock slowly out of Beelzebub, then snapped his hips forward and was rewarded with a grunt and a flash of dark eyes. “At least I don’t just sit on a throne.” He shot another deep thrust inside Beelzebub. “And throw a fit when there’s actual work to be done.” Another piercing thrust. It felt so good, and after the way Beelzebub had always been intimate with him, deliciously wrong to have the upper hand.

“You’re tame. You’ll never fuck me right.” Beelzebub watched as Gabriel’s jaw tightened and felt his strong hands grip more firmly. Their breath caught as he slammed inside them again, and it was knocked out of them as he did it again. Now they were getting somewhere. Gabriel fucked them into the rug, firm but not rough. Baby steps. Beelzebub reached down to wrap a hand around their cock, and suddenly found Gabriel’s hand on their wrists, forcing them to the ground above their head.

“It’s my turn to give and take your pleasure,” Gabriel panted. His lavender gaze searched Beelzebub’s critical gaze, then grinned as the demon writhed and tried to free their arms.

“Watch it, archangel…” Beelzebub growled.

“Or what?” Gabriel ground his cock deep inside the prince and felt them tighten and squirm against him. “You _ love _this.” He moved Beelzebub’s wrists together, holding them tightly with one hand. He ran the other into their hair, relishing the softness, taking the freedom to touch Beelzebub how he wanted. He turned their head aside and kissed their neck hungrily. “Just like how I touched you in the church…”

Beelzebub struggled against the archangel’s strong grip, pinned in place by that thick cock speared inside them. “Fuck you,” they breathed with as much venom as they could muster, tainted by how good it felt to be so full of Gabriel’s cock.

The angel lifted his head to watch the prince’s conflicted expression. He pressed a strong hand against their chest, holding them still as he started to fuck them in earnest. Beelzebub panted, still fighting to get their arms free. Their wrists felt bruised under Gabriel’s strong hold. Oh, fuck, it felt incredible to be fucked into the carpet by that big idiot, unable to take what they wanted.

“I can’t hear you, Ba’al…” Gabriel husked. “Let me hear those pretty sounds…”

Beelzebub growled, then gasped as Gabriel nearly left them entirely. It was torture to be so empty when they were so fucking aroused. They glared at Gabriel, who looked obnoxiously pleased with himself, wearing that cocky, confident grin Beelzebub hated. “Fuck me,” Beelzebub demanded.

“You’ll have to ask nicely.”

“Fuck you!” Beelzebub snapped, red in the face.

Gabriel teased Beelzebub’s cunt with just an inch more of his cock, fascinated by how much this drove the prince mad. A deep, desperate groan muffled around Beelzebub’s tightly bitten lip. They glowered up at the archangel.

“... Fuck me,” they whispered.

Gabriel waited patiently, despite how his chest heaved.

“... _ please, _” Beelzebub spat like bitter medicine.

Gabriel filled them with a sigh of pleasure and Beelzebub sang. “Was that so hard?” Gabriel teased. He rewarded the demon with more and more of his cock. He found a rhythm that elicited sounds from his beloved, but was not so intense that he would lose himself before he brought Beelzebub to an orgasm.

The demon loved the strain of their arms against Gabriel’s crushing grip. The archangel’s strong hand on their chest dragged over a breast, kneaded it as he drove into them. Beelzebub moaned with abandon as Gabriel’s mouth found their other breast. As the pleasure mounted, they found themself submitting to Gabriel’s whim, eager for more.

Gabriel’s thighs shook as he felt his orgasm building. No amount of this power-trip could help him hold out much longer. He let go of Beelzebub’s wrists in favor of grabbing their hips so he could drive harder and faster in those last moments. Beelzebub cried out and began to shudder, pulsating wildly around the archangel’s cock. The demon pressed their thighs together to intensify that tight, full feeling, and Gabriel instinctively pushed them back to expose his cock plunging deep in their cunt. Beelzebub clawed at the carpet and groaned with abandon as their climaxes crashed together like a cataclysm.

Gabriel’s eyes were closed as he shivered through his slowing thrusts. Beelzebub’s trembling thighs parted and fell limp on either side of Gabriel’s hips. The air was filled with desperate breaths and the last few little sighs of ecstasy. The archangel slipped from inside his prince and crept slowly over them to kiss their exposed throat.

“Mmn…” Beelzebub protested weakly as Gabriel kissed their clavicle. They slowly moved their arms, wincing at sore shoulders. They planted their hands on Gabriel’s chest to push him away, but the archangel insisted with his strong frame. With a grunt of annoyance, Beelzebub gave up and relented to drape their arms over Gabriel’s shoulders.

“I’m gonna strangle you,” Beelzebub groused.

“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” Gabriel whispered with a smile against Beelzebub’s throat.

Beelzebub’s brow narrowed. “Fuck, you’re even _ more _insufferable now…” A tiny, derisive laugh bubbled out of their chest.

Gabriel wrapped one strong arm around Beelzebub’s narrow waist. His heart felt fit to burst in the wake of bringing his beloved so much forbidden pleasure and now holding them in his arms.

“Zztop,” Beelzebub grumbled. “Get off me.”

“You can’t pretend you didn’t like that.”

“I hate this. Demons don’t cuddle.”

“Is that what you call this? Cuddling?” Gabriel let his head rest against Beelzebub’s collarbone. “I like it.”

Beelzebub could probably have thrown Gabriel off, and across the room, for that matter, but their body was jellied in post-orgasmic bliss.


	10. Empathy from Madness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel finally learns the truth about the night of Adam's twelfth birthday party. Beelzebub is forced to confront their own feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is, once again, from ["Black Water" by Timber Timbre](https://open.spotify.com/track/470qwbnZGjoDgf45d3y5EV)

Gabriel let out a contented sigh and Beelzebub thought they might be sick. “Is that how we did it that first time?” he asked dreamily.

Beelzebub tensed. They laughed. They laughed so hard, it disrupted Gabriel and the archangel lifted his head with the grin of someone who wanted in on the joke. One look at Gabriel’s sweet face sent them into another peal of laughter.

“Oh, fuck. I forgot.” They giggled.

“Forgot what?” Gabriel propped himself up on his arm.

“You don’t remember.” Beelzebub grinned. “You don’t remember anything.”

Gabriel shook his head. “Did I do something bad?” he asked quietly.

“No, you fucking idiot. You didn’t do anything. You passed out in the shower.”

Gabriel blinked at Beelzebub. “What?”

“We didn’t fuck. You didn’t come onto me. You just blathered on about bullshit and passed out.”

It was like Gabriel had just been doused in ice. The delicious heat from the sordid encounter was replaced with frigid dread. “What?” he asked again, eyebrows drawn together seriously.

“We. Didn’t. Fuck.” Beelzebub stared Gabriel down, their lips quirked in a sneer of dark pleasure. “I was just fucking  _ with  _ you. Thought it’d be fucking hilariouzz if you thought you’d tainted your body-temple or whatever.”

Gabriel slowly reeled back, his eyes wide.

Beelzebub let out a sigh of relief and dragged themself from under Gabriel’s imposing frame. They grinned at the delicious shiver of their thighs and ache in their cunt as they got to their feet.

Gabriel was frozen in shock, a hand twitching over his mouth.

The prince wandered back over to the cupcakes. They glanced at Gabriel as they peeled back the wrapper on yet another confection. “What are you so horrified for?” they muttered. “You should be relieved. All that bullshit about… being in love with me--it’s all made up.”

“You… tricked me.” Gabriel looked at Beelzebub in horror.

Beelzebub squinted at him. “Uh, yeah. Demon.”

“We didn’t…” Gabriel was going to be sick. He stumbled to his feet, numb to the sizzle of pain down his backside as he was wracked with horrible realization. He tripped into the intricately decorated, and never used, bathroom.

Beelzebub rolled their eyes and kept licking at the icing on their cupcake. They heard Gabriel actually retch and laughed. Couldn’t miss this. They walked over to the bathroom and leaned in the doorway. “You are zzuch a drama queen.”

“You lied to me!” Gabriel had tears in his eyes.

“What did you fucking expect!

“You’ve forced me to do all these depraved things…” he moaned miserably.

“There was not a whole lot of force involved, princess.”

“I thought I slept with you because I was in love!”

“And what a fucking relief that you’re not!”

“But I  _ am _ !” Gabriel cried in despair. “And it’s all based on a lie…” He collapsed on the seat of the toilet, grateful only for the cold marble floor against his abused backside.

Beelzebub scowled at Gabriel. “... No, you’re not. Don’t you get it?”

“I am now,” Gabriel wept.

The Lord of Hell stopped picking at their cupcake and stared. “You’re fucking insane. You are not in love with me.”

“How else do you explain it? I like the way you make me feel.” He sniffed and looked up at Beelzebub. “It’s… disgusting. I like the way you control me, make me feel powerless.” His voice was thick with self-loathing. “I want to hear your praise. I  _ crave  _ your demands. I long to make you happy.”

“Something’s wrong with you,” Beelzebub muttered. They resolutely ignored the strange tingle in their chest as Gabriel admitted, even knowing the truth, that his feelings remained. They had to admit Gabriel looked pretty pitiful--and not in the way they liked.

“I should just discorporate myself…” Gabriel looked sorrowfully at the floor. “I can’t be trusted with a body. Not after…” His brow creased. “Such… indulgence.” He looked utterly disgusted with himself.

Beelzebub stiffened. “You’d juzzt go back to Heaven?”

“If I can even pass merit to enter it…”

“What about… your feelingzz?”

“I just need to get away from you…” he said in a tiny voice.

“I thought angelzz were supposed to love.” What were they saying?

“They’re meant to love creation.”

“What am I? Chopped fucking liver? I’m same stock as you.  _ Of  _ creation.” Beelzebub didn’t know why words were still coming out of their mouth. Being contrary came naturally, but this was not the time to disagree just for disagreement’s sake. They didn’t  _ want  _ Gabriel to love them...

Gabriel lifted his gaze to see Beelzebub staring back at him fiercely. His expression went from troubled to confused.

“If you still love me, what’zz the difference?”

Gabriel sat up slowly. “What are you saying?”

Beelzebub felt their skin itch with heat that crept up their neck to their cheeks. “I’m saying… I’m saying what difference does it make?” they blustered forward blindly. “What’zz done izz done.”

Gabriel cracked an awkward smile. “You said that before.” He stared at the Lord of Hell, still confused.

“Come here,” Beelzebub demanded.

Gabriel got to his feet and walked over to the diminutive prince.

Beelzebub smeared their hand over Gabriel’s lips to make sure he didn’t have any sick on his mouth. “Look at me.” Gabriel did so. “How do I make you feel?”

“Love. Desire. Lust.” Gabriel shook his head. “All things I shouldn’t--”

“Zzhut it,” they snapped. “Are you going to lie?”

Gabriel’s expression slowly bloomed to revelation.

“You know what happens to angels who lie,” Beelzebub warned him. “I’ll fucking dezztroy you before I let you Fall from Grace. I’d sooner be rid of you forever than put up with you for eternity in Hell.”

Gabriel softened, warmed by the modicum of concern Beelzebub expressed, regardless of their dispassionate tone. “Bee…” he murmured and touched Beelzebub’s cheek.

“Holy shit.” Beelzebub slapped Gabriel’s hand away, eyes wide. “Do  _ not  _ fucking call me that. Ever.”

Gabriel laughed and brought his hand back to touch the demon’s hair. They looked nonplussed, but allowed it.

“Thizz doesn’t mean I care what happens to you.”

“Of course you don’t.” Gabriel cupped Beelzebub’s cheek and bent to kiss them sweetly.

“You disgust me,” they muttered as Gabriel pulled away and fixed such soft eyes on them.

“I know.” Gabriel’s smile was so sweet, Beelzebub felt cavities forming.

“I  _ will  _ destroy you if you discorporate yourself.”

“So, you’ll be keeping an eye on me?” Gabriel asked lightly.

Beelzebub felt the scowl burn on their face. “Fuck off. What is wrong with you?” They disengaged and stormed back into the living room.

“Hey,” Gabriel called after them, leaning lovestruck against the doorframe.

“What?” Beelzebub snapped.

“Thank you.”

Beelzebub turned away from Gabriel with a growl and snapped to redress themself. Goddammit, they’d just made it even worse, hadn’t they? Now they were never going to be rid of Gabriel. But really--this arrangement was far more tolerable than the thought of Gabriel hovering around them in Hell. This arrangement was even… desirable, much as they were loathe to admit it. Gabriel had proven himself a… capable lover. Why fuck up a good thing?

Shit. Was it a good thing? Beelzebub felt their blood boiling as they stood tense in Gabriel’s apartment.

“Want to have lunch?” Gabriel asked. He, too, appeared dressed in the living room, shaken, but composed.

“No. I’m leaving. There’s a lot of fucking work to do, remember?”

“How responsible of you.”

If Gabriel said one more nice thing, Beelzebub was going to destroy him anyway.

“I’ll call you.” Gabriel placed his hands on Beelzebub’s tense shoulders and kissed their hair.

“Don’t!” Beelzebub shouted and disappeared.

  
  
  



	11. It's Too Late To Holler

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel invites Beelzebub over for some quality time. Beelzebub reluctantly accepts, and is pleasantly surprised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Penultimate chapter of part one, dear readers! Chapter title is from ["Don't Put Off Til Tomorrow"](https://open.spotify.com/track/3hiHn5jCRgrivKHLbmzV8D) by Pony Sherrell.

The call came a few days later, when Gabriel's ass stung a little less.

“Hi.”

“What do you want?”

“I thought we’d spend a night in. Some quality time. No work - take the night off.”

“Soundzz awful.”

“It’ll be nice.”

“A drawn out dinner and talking? No thankzz. You can fuck off.”

“Nothing like that, Bee. I wouldn’t torture you like that.”

Beelzebub shuddered in physical discomfort as Gabriel used that nickname. “I told you not to call me that.”

“Mmm, it’s cute, though. Buzzy, like you.”

“I’m hanging up now.”

“My place, around eight. You can--” The line went dead. Gabriel tilted his head to look at his phone. He sighed, but smiled. He hoped Beelzebub would come around--if only to punish him for using his little nickname for the Lord of Hell.

Beelzebub shoved their hands deeper in their pockets as they trudged down the pristine hallway of Gabriel’s high-rise. They weren’t coming for Gabriel’s bullshit ‘quality time.’ They could have Gabriel any time they wanted--they didn’t need an invitation. But using that diminutive… Inexcusable. Tonight, they would remind Gabriel who was in control of their little arrangement.

They looked up at the door as they reached for the knob and saw, stuck to the middle where they couldn’t miss it, was a lavender bit of stationery attached to the door that read, “Come on in. ” Beelzebub narrowed their eyes in disgust and hesitated a moment. With a growled sigh, they pressed on and let themself inside.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. You said you wouldn’t torture me with this bullshit.” Beelzebub glared at a trail of fucking  _ rose petals  _ that curved and made a path into the apartment. The Lord of Hell stomped over the rose petals and slammed the door behind them. They turned sharply from side to side to look for that insufferable idiot angel. No sign of him.

With a groan, Beelzebub surrendered to crush the path of rose petals underfoot. The path brought them to a dainty side table, on which was a card. Beelzebub picked it up as if it carried the plague and read Gabriel’s impeccable cursive.  _ “I love spending time with you. You can keep me as long as you want tonight.”  _ Beelzebub winced, then spotted what had been underneath the card--lengths of rope coiled neatly; white, black, and pale purple. They picked up one of the spools and ran their thumb over the weave. Not bad.

Beelzebub dropped the card carelessly, but took the ropes and continued forward. On a marble-topped sideboard further down the rose petal path, they found another card.  _ “You have my devotion, Ba’al.”  _ The accompanying present was a white ball gag with gold hardware, and a matching cock restraint. Beelzebub raised a brow, impressed that naive little Gabriel had any idea what these things were. The demon considered this, and then wondered if Gabriel  _ did  _ have any idea what these were for.

The rose petal path came to an end at a closed door. Beelzebub hadn’t been in any of the rooms in Gabriel’s apartment, but they could guess this was Gabriel’s bedroom. Did the angel even have any idea what was meant to go in a bedroom? Given his propensity to over decorate and stock his apartment with human detritus, the prince could only imagine. Beelzebub looked at their gifts and then up at the door with a dubious look. They let out a little sigh and prepared for more of Gabriel’s bullshit.

The light of the room agreed with Beelzebub--it was reminiscent of their own apartment, as a matter of fact. Candles flickered in ascending wrought-iron spirals at the corners of the room, and the otherwise ambient light was blue-tinged. There was no furniture in the room, just marble floor cast in eerie light. Definitively not a bedroom. At its center was the main attraction: Gabriel, his perfect form stretched out on display with arms raised above his head, wrists lashed with black rope to a metal hook on the ceiling. Below him sworled an ancient mandala, wheels of Heaven and Hell, writ with ethereal and occult scripts on the marble floor. He was utterly naked--save for a blindfold and a smile.

Beelzebub froze in the doorway and stared. They were turned on pretty much immediately.

“I knew you’d come.” Gabriel grinned. “I’d come give you a kiss, but I’m.. a bit tied up.”

Beelzebub could not stop staring. Gabriel could feel their presence, yes, but he couldn’t see them. Couldn’t see them hungrily drinking in his angelic perfection. They hadn’t made any time to just admire Gabriel before--hadn’t bothered to.

Finally, Beelzebub dropped their gifts on the floor and closed the door behind them. “And if I hadn’t come?” Beelzebub snickered. “Just zztrung up all night waiting.” They walked forward slowly, bootheels resounding on the marble. This was unlike all their previous encounters. No flimsy pretense of romance, or some silly ‘date night’ activity. Gabriel required no demand or instruction from Beelzebub. He just presented himself for Beelzebub’s pleasure without preamble.

“I’d wait for you,” Gabriel said sweetly as he leaned forward in hopes of meeting Beelzebub; if not physically, just enough to feel that warmth of their Hellish aura.

“How long have you been waiting like that?” Beelzebub laughed.

“Only an hour.”

“Hm. Maybe I will go have dinner.” Beelzebub mused.

Gabriel pouted. “Bee…”

Beelzebub bristled and lunged forward to grab Gabriel’s jaw sharply. “ _ Zztop  _ calling me that, you miserable zzhit.” Gabriel’s blindfold hid the fact that Beelzebub couldn’t shift the grin from their lips. 

Gabriel tensed as Beelzebub touched him, and his grin widened. It was terribly exciting not knowing just where and how Beelzebub was going to touch him. “Did you find the presents I left for you?”

Beelzebub narrowed their eyes at Gabriel. “Yezz. Do you even know what they’re for?”

“Not really,” Gabriel said brightly. “I figured you would show me.”

Beelzebub barked out a laugh and tossed Gabriel’s chin to one side. “If I had known you wanted toyzz, I would have showed you my collection.”

Gabriel raised a brow over his blindfold. “We have all night,” he promised in his low baritone.

Beelzebub took Gabriel’s chin in their hand. Because of his restraints, they were forced up on their toes to kiss him. It was as close to an admission of appreciation as Gabriel was going to get.

Gabriel looked appropriately awed as Beelzebub drew away. He leaned in as far as he could, begging silently for another kiss. Beelzebub pressed a finger roughly to his lips and pushed him back.

“You picked well for being such a fucking idiot.” Beelzebub’s voice drifted away as they turned back to retrieve the spools of rope they had been gifted. “Have you been reading pornography?” they asked in an airy tone.

“Actually, I just asked Sandalphon about deviant behavior and--”

“Sorry I fucking asked. I don’t want to know how angelzz talk about this zzhit.”

Gabriel grinned. He could hear the slip of rope being unspooled, the slide of it in Beelzebub’s hands.

“You better not be telling your little peonzz about our arrangement.”

Gabriel tilted his head to the word ‘arrangement,’ his blindfolded expression taking a curious lilt. He shivered as Beelzebub’s fingers whispered over his collarbone and slid a piece of rope around the back of his neck.

“You wouldn’t want to get  _ caught _ .” Beelzebub emphasised the threat with a sharp tug that brought Gabriel forward, straining his muscular arms more tightly above his head. “Imagine what your little peonzz would think of you…” Beelzebub dragged the rope down Gabriel’s chest, just past his cock, and around one thigh. Their nails skated over Gabriel’s skin as they deftly tied the rope in place. “Calling up Satan’zz right hand just to get off.” The demon made a knot at Gabriel’s throat, relishing the bob of his adam’s apple as their knuckles brushed against it.

“Almost azz bad azz fucking the devil himself,” Beelzebub sneered and pushed Gabriel back so his torso was properly stretched out before them. They mirrored the bind high around Gabriel’s other thigh and saw his cock stir.

Gabriel sighed as Beelzebub’s palm ran over his torso. “Only you…” he whispered. “This is just between us.”

Beelzebub wound the rope around Gabriel’s muscular midsection, just below his ribs, affixing it to the lines that came down in a V from his neck. That strong chest rose and fell more deeply with every passing moment.

Gabriel knew Beelzebub’s silence was due to their concentration, but worry nagged at the back of his mind. “Do you brag to your colleagues…?”

Beelzebub scoffed. They glanced up at Gabriel and saw the concern writ subtle on his face. “None of your buzinezz,” they said with a flippant smirk.

Gabriel squirmed a little and frowned. “But--”

“Zzhut it. I knew you would talk too much.” Beelzebub dropped the rope and Gabriel opened his mouth to protest. He knew better than to make it worse, but couldn’t hold back a quiet noise of disappointment. He heard Beelzebub walking away, and then the faint jingle of something vaguely familiar.

“I told you I didn’t want zzome long night of  _ talking, _ ” Beelzebub growled. “But you knew you wouldn’t be able to help yourself. Open up.”

Gabriel tentatively opened his mouth. He felt a firm ball press against his lips. Beelzebub was forced up onto their toes to fasten the gag around the back of Gabriel’s head. They smiled broad at the mild confusion that peeked out around the blindfold and gag.

“Oh, that’s  _ sinizzter, _ ” Beelzebub purred. The sight sent heat pooling between their legs. “The perfect gift.” The demon sighed in pleasure, and Gabriel glowed under the praise with a shiver. “Finally, I’m free from your inane chatter.” They ran their fingers along Gabriel’s strained jaw, then crept up to trace the handsome angles of his cheek. “Did you know that’s what this was for?”

Gabriel shook his head and Beelzebub shrieked with laughter.

“Just wait until you see what the other little present you gave me is for…” Beelzebub brought Gabriel’s face toward themself and planted a little kiss at the corner of his spread lips.

They returned to the slack of rope and gave it a little tug to send a chain reaction of knots pulling against Gabriel’s scantily-bound frame. They heard a quiet moan rumble against the gag, and Gabriel rocked his hips forward, cock at half-mast. The shift of his hips pulled at the ropes in a different way and Gabriel shifted his weight with another little muffled noise. Pleased so far, Beelzebub resumed their work and took their sweet time.

By the time Beelzebub was satisfied with how striped and knotted Gabriel’s muscular torso was, the archangel was rock hard, just from the kiss of rope and the ghost of the demon’s fingers tying him up. He drooled around the gag, and his jaw ached, but it only added to the allure of being utterly surrendered to Beelzebub’s control.

“Naughty little angels all tied up with string…” Beelzebub used one crooked finger to tug at the intricate network of ropes and Gabriel groaned loudly, arching toward him. His cheeks colored dark, humiliated that a perversion of one his most favorite songs made his cock throb and threaten to spill over.

Beelzebub tilted their chin up toward Gabriel’s ear, oh-so close, but leaving Gabriel’s cock untouched. “You look beautiful like thizz, Gabriel,” Beelzebub whispered and grinned as Gabriel groaned and fought against his self-imposed restraints on his wrists. They could tell he was trying to beg around his gag, and while they would love to hear just what this compliment had done to the archangel, it was too delicious to let him suffer, unable to speak whatever disgusting sweet nothings on his tongue.

They took a step back to admire their work. They had shed their coat not long into the process as their flesh grew hot in the presence of that big, helpless idiot. Now, they removed their pants, buzzing with quiet pleasure as they freed their cock. In addition to the wide-net shirt that streaked their pale flesh with spider-fine lines and their usual net socks, they wore netted fingerless gloves. They stroked themselves slowly and allowed Gabriel to hear them moan.

The angel again strained forward, silently making their desire known.

“Mm… you’re positively dripping…” Beelzebub noted. “Looks like you need your other little present.” The demon retrieved the cock restraint. “I’m going to leave you here like thizz if you come too quick,” they told Gabriel before they touched him. “Don’t you dare fucking come.”

Gabriel could feel how close Beelzebub was and whimpered, nodding quickly. Even that motion sent the ropes shifting minutely across his skin and his toes curled.

Beelzebub grinned at the lascivious sight and gingerly fingered Gabriel’s cock. The angel gasped and panted wetly around the gag, his hips shuddering as his cock jumped in Beelzebub’s feather-light touch. “Oh, you’re zzo close…” they breathed. Beelzebub slowly ran a nail down the underside of Gabriel’s cock and watched him throw his head back, moaning in desperation. “Fuck…” Beelzebub chuckled. “I could watch thizz all day…”

Gabriel’s body was taut, every muscle fighting against the orgasm he teetered on the edge of. He didn’t know if he could hold back much longer. Every touch from his beloved came as a surprise, which made it that much more difficult to restrain himself. He was desperate to last as long as Beelzebub wanted him to, but he felt so lightheaded and as if every inch of his flesh was being touched by some whisper of rope.

He felt something wrap around the base of his cock, and he was sure he was done for. Then, Beelzebub’s fingers tightened the strap. Another strap was wrapped around his sack, and this, too, was tightened snugly. It was a strange sensation, like his release was frozen in place, restrained by Beelzebub’s power like every other fiber of his being.

“Better?” Beelzebub whispered and gave Gabriel’s cock a stroke.

Gabriel cried out around his gag. The sensation hadn’t been dulled at all, but he couldn’t peak. Colors danced wildly in the shadow of his blindfold and he thought he would go mad from the pleasure.

“Good.” Beelzebub looked up at Gabriel’s wrist restraints and could see the beginnings of red, angry welts. They walked around the angel and took the slack of the rope, loosening the bonds. Gabriel gasped in relief and lowered his arms. He thought he might faint, but Beelzebub’s hands found his hips and steadied him.

“Zzince you’ve shown an interezzt in toyzz… We’re going to play with one of my toys,” Beelzebub told him. “Bend over.” Gabriel shakily flexed his arms in front of him to bring the feeling back. He slowly bent forward and found his balance with his hands planted on the ground. The ropes slid and pulled at him this way and that, and he moaned as he felt the ropes spread him open for the prince.

Beelzebub hummed with pleasure, oh-so tempted to fuck him into tomorrow with those ropes framing his perfectly tight asshole. They spread their hands over his striped ass and ran a thumb over their exposed entrance. Gabriel jerked and thighs trembled as Beelzebub cooed over the sight.

“Can you guezz what kind of toy you get?” Beelzebub purred. Gabriel made an unintelligible noise and the demon grinned. They apparated a generous bottle of lube in one hand and dripped it over Gabriel’s upturned rear. He whimpered and shuddered at the alien sensation. Beelzebub rubbed the lube slick over his hole, then slid one finger in. Gabriel’s hips rocked uncertainly and his arms threatened to give out.

“I’m gonna fill you up. You better be ready.” Beelzebub pushed another finger in. There was still plenty of resistance, but they felt Gabriel’s muscles work to relax. “You can take more,” they encouraged and squeezed a third finger inside. The angel arched their back, and that sent a chain reaction of tugs and pulls of rope across his flesh. Beelzebub could hear the wheeze of Gabriel’s labored breathing around the gag. They worked their fingers back and forth, twisting them so Gabriel felt every knuckle, rewarded with a loud moan.

Beelzebub withdrew their fingers and Gabriel gasped and bit down on the gag. He heard more slick, wet sounds behind him, then felt something wider press against him. With so much slick smeared all around his entrance, his body yielded to the unfamiliar intrusion. 

Beelzebub speared him slowly and enjoyed the sight of their pet taking a toy about the size of the archangel’s own cock. Gabriel’s muscular frame left nothing to the imagination of how he strained to accept the thick probe, strong cords standing out against taut skin, but his guttural groan betrayed how much he enjoyed it. The bumps on the shaft of the toy came as a surprise to Gabriel, as evidenced by the gasp and jerk of his legs that threatened to buckle.

Once the toy was halfway in, Beelzebub started to pull it out and Gabriel writhed. “Oh, you want it back in?” they teased. The demon pushed it deeper and Gabriel moaned his assent. They worked it deeper in gradual thrusts until the angel was hilted around the base. “So fucking  _ full, _ ” Beelzebub praised and gave the base a little push that made Gabriel yelp and see stars. With a little demonic encouragement, Beelzebub made sure the toy wasn’t going anywhere, and then stepped away.

They walked slowly around the statuesque angel brought low by deviant desire. Once they stood in front of Gabriel, Beelzebub bent and took up the rope secured to his wrists with one hand, and cupped his jaw with the other. They lifted him and guided his hands to their narrow hips. Gabriel moaned in gratitude as his thumbs rubbed against Beelzebub’s sinfully soft skin. Beelzebub unclasped the gag from the back of Gabriel’s skull and tossed it aside. The angel was gasping for breath and desperately pulled Beelzebub closer so he could press his cheek against their belly. He could sense his lover’s cock so nearby, smell their sex, and feel the pleasure radiating off them as they carded fingers through his hair.

“Did you like that?” Beelzebub buzzed low.

Gabriel nodded, smearing saliva over Beelzebub’s skin.  
“You’re always such a fucking mess,” they muttered and tilted Gabriel’s blind face up, wiping the spit from his chin. Gabriel would have melted if he saw the way Beelzebub looked at him, then. The prince so liked having Gabriel bowed before him, they indulged him. With fingers under the angel’s chin, the prince lifted him up enough so that he could kiss him. He moaned as the shift in position angled the toy inside him in new, strange ways. The touch of lips surprised him, and he whimpered with want.

“I love you,” Gabriel moaned, pressing his forehead to Beelzebub’s a moment before he dove back into those lips. The electricity of his tender lips against his lover’s made every sensation heighten to an unbearable degree and he trembled.

The prince smirked as they pulled away. “You’re zzuch a fucking idiot,” they said, almost fondly. They considered the blindfold a moment--they almost missed seeing those lavender eyes wild and hazy in the throes of pleasure. But they were too much enjoying the element of surprise for their blind angel. They pushed Gabriel’s head down, leering at him as they guided him to their cock. The angel kissed it sensually, eagerly, and Beelzebub let out a sigh.

“Such a spoiled boy…” they murmured. “What do you say?”

“Thank you, Ba’al,” Gabriel gasped in earnest.


	12. Lovers Beware

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael discovers that Gabriel has filed for a residence on Earth, and comes bearing a housewarming gift at a most inopportune time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is from ["Morning After"](https://open.spotify.com/track/2shYo1kHiGfpJLKrBKLBF1) by Ariel Pink & Weyes Blood

Gabriel’s absence around Head Office had been conspicuous. Typically, he was ever-present--to an obnoxious degree. He made his presence known by constantly checking and double-checking that the administrative angels had filed the correct reports and entered all the data into the system, while simultaneously interrupting the workday with “team building exercises.” Most everyone agreed that this seemed excessive after six thousand years.

Michael, ever fastidious, decided to look into the archangel’s mysterious absence. He feared Gabriel might have fallen into some kind of slump after dealing with all the mess of the failed End of Days. Upon perusing the files, he found a most interesting document: a filing for residency on Earth. How curious! Gabriel hadn’t said anything about it.

Well, perhaps a jaunt to Earth was for the best for the boss. Gabriel had been working his fingers to the bone, so to speak, in Head Office for so many millenia. Still, Michael worried that Gabriel might be brooding. If Gabriel was on Earth, he might be turning his failures over in his head, tortured by his short-comings, being down there with the flawed mortals.

Michael thought a little housewarming gift was in order. Both to check in on Gabriel’s state of mind, and reassure him that everything was taken care of back at Head Office. Even though Gabriel hadn’t been around, his reports and checks still came in remotely. Michael would put their boss at ease to know that they were all getting along just fine--more efficiently, in fact, without the mandatory team building exercises.

Michael polled the Office to pitch in what they thought Gabriel might like best. They came up with an elegant crystal vase with roses that miraculously stayed dew-kissed, a bright copper kettle, warm, woolen mittens knit by the cherubs, and a new lavender scarf tenderly wrapped in a brown paper package tied up with string. It was all a bit silly, but Michael thought some creature comforts might assuage any concern Gabriel had about taking the time he needed.

Michael held the oversized basket proudly as they descended to Earth. What a nice surprise this would be. He took care to dress down to mortal standards, albeit in an unseasonably warm blue sweater and collared shirt, and even took a human cab to Gabriel’s new residence. It looked perfectly reputable for an archangel, Michael thought. He was impressed by the finery--it was almost as good as Head Office!

The heart of his corporation was fluttering with excitement as he rode up the elevator to the top floor where a certain Gabriel A. lived. Much to his surprise, when he approached the door there was a little note stuck to it. “Come on in. ❤” Michael shook his head with a smile. Of course Gabriel expected him. He should have known better than to think he could surprise the Archangel Gabriel.

Michael let himself in with a sunny smile. He glanced around and found the expansive den quite empty. But there were rose petals on the ground. How curious. Was this some sort of human decoration? It reminded him of some sort of cherubic procession. A little comfort from home, then? He stepped inside and closed the door gently behind himself, then spied a perfect place to display the gift basket--right there on the counter. Perfect.

The rose petals looked like a path and led to a closed door. Perhaps Gabriel was inside. Not hard at work, Michael hoped. The ancient entity had no sense of what sorts of rooms mortal residences had. Things had changed a lot since he was last on Earth for any extended period of time. He followed the rose petals and put a hand on the doorknob. There was some kind of noise coming from the other side…

“Ohh, fuck…” Beelzebub groaned. “I’m gonna fuck you senseless, archangel,” they growled, cock hilted inside Gabriel’s mouth.

Michael stared at his hand on the doorknob, not sure what he had just heard. He opened the door.

Beelzebub heard the door open and whipped around sharply. “Oh. Fuck.” They grinned a terrible grin and let their cock slip from Gabriel’s mouth. “Hey, you expecting company?” they asked and gave Gabriel’s cheek a little pat.

Michael stood horrified at the sight of the prince of Hell standing there, naked but for some… fetishwear of net, cock erect and glistening. He gasped and reeled back in horror as he realized that the trembling body of abject desire Beelzebub had been sodomizing was the Archangel Gabriel. The shock was so great, Michael actually discorporated.

Gabriel pulled the blindfold off a second too late and looked up at Beelzebub, still breathless. “What?” He blinked hard against even the low light of the room. “Why is the door open?”

Beelzebub turned to Gabriel, gritting their teeth. “Michael.” They looked conflicted--torn between amusement and horror. “Archangel fucking Michael. Wazz just here.”

Gabriel stared at the vacant doorway and back to Beelzebub. “T-this isn’t funny, Beelzebub.”

“This izzn’t part of the game, Gabriel.” Beelzebub looked around the room, took in the scene that Michael had just been blessed with, then cursed and snapped their fingers.

Suddenly all the trappings of their play vanished. Gabriel gasped sharply, face screwed up in pain, and his knees buckled under him. “ _ Sweet Lord! _ ” he exclaimed and glared at Beelzebub. “ _ Really. _ ”

“Sorry. Mood’s ruined.” Beelzebub stared at Gabriel, mind reeling.

The discomfort had certainly put a damper on his arousal. He was still trying to wrap his mind around what Beelzebub said. “Do you really just like to ruin it? Do you get off on that?” Gabriel demanded. He had been having a  _ really  _ great time. But just like every date before, Beelzebub would say or do something to sour the whole evening.

“I’m not--” Beelzebub bristled. “I don’t  _ ruin  _ it. You’re the one who--oh, for fuck’zz sake, nevermind. I’m seriouzz, Gabriel.”

Gabriel glared at Beelzebub as he rubbed at his wrists and staggered to his feet. “You’ve been mean to me before, but this is really…” He shook his head as he walked past the prince. “If you’re looking for an excuse to leave--congratulations, you’ve done it.” Gabriel felt utterly pent up. The mood was certainly ruined, and he was in no state to comply with whatever Beelzebub’s fantasy was in this circumstance. This was really too far.

Beelzebub watched Gabriel incredulously. “I’m not fucking with you!” they shouted at Gabriel’s retreating back. “I saw him. He wazz right there.”

Gabriel miracled himself a lavender robe, in no mood to be so naked. “Just leave.”

Beelzebub stared at Gabriel, wide-eyed and angry. How could Gabriel not believe them? When had they ever denied him so badly? Beelzebub snorted, nose wrinkled furiously. Their laugh rang cruel in the room. “Fine. Fine. It’zz your fucking funeral.” They snapped their clothes back on. “Or Fall,” they sneered as they stormed over the crushed rose petals.

The archangel held the door open coldly.

“Or obliviation,” they snarled up at Gabriel. 

“Get out,” Gabriel said firmly.

Beelzebub flung a middle finger at Gabriel in their wake and stalked off.

Gabriel shut the door sharply and then fell back against it. What had he done wrong this time? Everything had been  _ perfect. _ Beelzebub had been so enjoying themself--Gabriel could tell. He’d felt like he’d finally found the perfect way to express his affection. It had been  _ so  _ arousing, the air charged with a special kind of electricity unlike any other time before.

What was all that nonsense about Michael? Did Beelzebub need to solidify the dangerous nature of their tryst? As if Gabriel needed to be reminded of the literal Hell to pay if he got caught courting--among other things--the Lord of Hell.

He slammed his fist against the door and sighed. What else could he do? What more did Beelzebub want from him? He covered his face with his hands and let his head fall back. Gabriel took a few minutes to just breathe and sort out the mess of sensations haunting his body. He needed a shower. But even that wouldn’t wash away the bruises and faint welts from the ropes. He let out a frustrated groan and let his hands fall away.

Then he saw it. A big basket sitting on his marble counter. A chill ran down his spine. He pushed away from the door and took halting steps toward the mysterious basket. Inside--a few of his favorite things. The delicate perfume of Heaven was unmistakable.

“Oh.  _ Fuck. _ ”

**\-- END OF PART ONE** \--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's where we'll leave the end of this part. Stay tuned for part two - INSTITUTIONS - which will be going live on Friday!
> 
> Follow me on Twitter @vol_ctrl for up-to-the-minute updates and more GO content!

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on Twitter @vol_ctrl to get notified when new chapters drop! New chapters are posted M W F ~
> 
> Also many thanks to [Jen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fountainjen/pseuds/Fountainjen) and [IngThing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ingthing/pseuds/ingthing) AND [Paranoia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Paranoia/pseuds/Paranoia) for beta-reading and assuring me that my kink is up to snuff.


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